Dear Amy: I live with a 7-year-old girl, a 1-year-old boy, a 37-year-old man and his cat.
The cat has scratched our son on the face on two occasions. We have been unable to find another home for the cat.
I am not a huge fan of this cat, but I don’t have the heart to take him to the pound. I don’t have the few hundred dollars to get him declawed.
What can I do? I don’t want my son to continue being scratched and potentially lose an eye. Everyone else in the family, including my scratched son, really likes this cat.
I’d like to find a way to live peacefully with this feline foe.
– J in Dallas
Dear J: I sense a blended family taking shape, and this cat should be considered a family member – and part of the blend.
Do not even consider having the cat declawed. Declawing is cruel, and many vets refuse to do it. You can research purchasing rubber sheaths to place over the cat’s claws so that they won’t be so sharp – the cat’s claws also can be clipped with a nail clipper.
A cat won’t scratch unless he is cornered. Your best bet is to watch your son very carefully, make sure that he learns how to “love” the cat safely by keeping his distance, sitting very still and letting the cat approach him. Once the cat approaches him, help your son put out his hand and let the cat rub its chin on his hand. Do not leave him on his own with the cat – it isn’t safe for either of them.
Make sure the cat always has an “escape route” so he can get away from your curious son.
Ask the 7-year-old to “teach” you and your son how to safely love this cat – she will love helping you in this way.
…
Dear Amy: I’m a 27-year-old shy guy, and I work for a large company.
There aren’t many workers here under 30, but there’s one girl in a different department who is 24. We bumped into each other a few months back during a hallway encounter and since then I’ve stopped off at her cubicle to chat about once a week.
We get along well, and there’s been some joking and good conversation. I feel comfortable to ask for her phone number soon, hoping to eventually ask her to hang out.
Complicating matters is pending layoffs. Due to a lack of seniority, I am going to be laid off in a month from now.
Do you suggest waiting until the layoff occurs, then taking the less-pressurized route of asking for her number to keep in touch? Or instead of wasting time, should I just suck it up and ask her now? Of course, it would be more awkward because she’ll immediately know I’m interested, whereas the other route is a layoff-induced swapping of phone numbers.
I don’t want to mess this up.
– Co-worker Crush
Dear Co-worker: There is such a thing as overthinking. You are doing it now.
Let me overthink for you.
If you wait to exchange numbers until you are laid off, you risk subjecting yourself to a “mercy hang-out.” Mercy hang outs are almost worse than no hang-out at all.
Rather than ask for her number, why don’t you just ask her out? You might actually find it easier to ask her out, believe it or not, because asking for someone’s number is ambiguous (many women don’t like giving out their numbers and would prefer exchanging e-mail addresses). If you ask her out, choose something easy, like having coffee during a break or a drink after work. I’ve recently become a big fan of bowling because it’s fun and engaging – without being too intimate.
If you ask and she doesn’t want to go out, it doesn’t mean that your friendship can’t blossom.
You deserve a lot of credit for trying to tackle your shyness. I know that it is very difficult for you, but a lot of people find those very qualities that make this encounter challenging very attractive. Go for it.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
