Dear Amy: I am in the sixth grade. Recently, a classmate confessed to being severely depressed and even suicidal. She told me the main reason is her parents’ divorce, along with school pressure. She told me she tried suicide and her mother is angry with her about it. Amy, I really want to help her. But she told me she was already seeing some sort of psychiatrist and won’t tell me anything else.
– Want to Help in Chicago
Dear Want To Help: It can be so hard to be a good friend, and you sound like one. Tell your parents what’s going on. Though this is happening to your friend, it’s also happening to you. Your folks need to know about the things that bother you.
You may not be able to help the way a psychiatrist can, but you can help by being the very best version of you. Sometimes when people are depressed, they feel isolated, and isolation can make things worse. Sit with your friend at lunch. Invite her to your house after school. See if she wants to join a club such as the Girl Scouts with you.
If you sense she’s feeling worse, and if she mentions hurting herself, even as a joke or in passing, tell your folks or a trusted adult at school immediately.
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Dear Amy: I am the youngest of five children. My son’s name is Alexander. Everyone knows we prefer him to be called this or Alex.
One sister calls him “Al” and has her family calling him this also. I have asked them not to, as my husband and I don’t like it. They keep doing it, so how should I handle this? It makes me cringe. I don’t want to blow up, but I’m at my wits’ end.
– Youngest of Five in Indiana
Dear Youngest: She might be engaged in a big sister/little sister power play, similar to the time she pinned you down and tickled you until you cried.
Next time she calls your son “Al,” say, “Hey sis, remember when we told you your nephew’s name? It’s Alexander. You can also call him Alex. You seem so confused about this that we’re starting to worry!” If she persists, ask why. If she thinks “Al” is a cute nickname, remind her that it makes you cringe.
Then drop the subject forever. Soon enough, Alex will be correcting people on his own.
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Dear Amy: After a “friend” sent a form for a living will, I asked her if she would witness my signature on the form.
Her signature as a witness only meant she knew me and she witnessed my signing the form. But she declined to sign. As friends, was my request improper or was her response?
– No Longer a Friend
Dear No Longer: You and your friend could have traded witness signatures on both of your living will forms, but because she isn’t comfortable doing this, let it go. It’s a shame that you are willing to set aside a friendship over a signature – I certainly hope you reconsider.
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Dear Amy: When my children were small, we had difficulty with their knowing which grandparent we were talking about or going to visit. There were my husband’s parents, mine – who were divorced – and also two great-grandmothers. We came up with names that related to each of them.
“Grandma and Grandpa Swing” had the swing in the backyard. Then there was “Grandpa Piggy,” who had real pigs; “Grandma Kit-Kat,” who gave them candy bars, “Great-
Grandma Eat” whom we had lunch or supper with weekly; and finally “Great-Grandma Little Eyes,” because her eyes were barely opened from old age.
The children are 18 and 19 but still address their grandparents by nickname. It will be funny to see what nicknames they create for my husband and me.
– Donna From Effingham, Ill.
Dear Donna: If I had grandkids who called me “Grandma Piggy” or “Great-Grandma Little Eyes,” I would have to set them straight by bopping them with my walking stick. Luckily for your kids and future grandkids, you seem to have a better sense of humor about these things.
E-mail askamy@tribune.com or write Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
