George Bernard Shaw once quipped that England and America were two countries divided by a common language.
In the case of Caly Hedlund, the phrase English immigration officials seem to struggle with most is “common sense.”
Caly, a 13-year-old from Denver, flew from Colorado to Heathrow Airport earlier this month to spend six months with her dad in a town called Stoke-on-Trent.
The hope, at least, was that the trip would be culturally rewarding, Caly’s mom explained. Teatime, Yorkshire pudding, Benny Hill and rainy days, what else could a young girl ask for?
Little did Caly realize she’d be back in beautiful Colorado within the week.
After landing in England, an immigration constable shrilly told Caly she had two days to vacate the Motherland.
“We’re deporting you,” Caly remembers the nasty bloke telling her.
“The word deporting is sort of scary,” Caly says. “I started crying.”
Peter Hedlund, Caly’s dad, received a unexpected call just minutes before departing for the Manchester airport to pick up Caly.
Peter, a Denver resident on and off since 1974, moved to England to be with his British bride on the 4th of July last year. (Is he trying to tell us something?)
A postman for Her Majesty’s Royal Mail Service (at least, that’s what I call it), Peter had his daughter visit for the first time during Christmas and she absolutely loved England.
He and his ex-wife decided Caly would cross the pond for a six-month term as an exchange student.
“She was a minor coming over here to attend public school,” Peter says. “UK law states any American can come over here for under six months. They don’t need a visa.” To be certain, Peter contacted schools in the area – and they all agreed: No visa was necessary.
That’s not how immigration officials saw the situation.
“The UK customs took Caly, a 13-year-old girl,” Peter says, “and grilled her for over 3 1/2 hours, never telling her that she had the right to have parents or another adult present. To us, this was just flabbergasting.”
Fact is, Caly couldn’t go home. Her mummy, who was on vacation, was out of reach. This absence prompted suspicious questions from English officials.
“Well, No. 1, she’s my ex-wife. We’re not great friends,” Peter explains. “I don’t know where she stays all the time or anything like that. In any event, she sent Caly over here with the idea that she would be gone for six months.”
Peter called the U.S. Embassy, which said it would “look into it but don’t hold your breath.” He didn’t.
Helpful British officials told Peter that he could just turn Caly over to them “and we’ll send her back to Colorado where she will be placed with social services.”
Not bloody likely.
Instead, Peter sought help at the local police station. They wanted nothing to do with the situation.
In a last-ditch attempt, Peter contacted members of Parliament – an institution similar to Congress, except members have the good sense to hiss and boo at each other while in session.
One supportive MP worked out a deal that allowed Caly to stay for a week.
“The local schools have come out in our favor,” claims Peter, the city’s only American mailman. “They have said absolutely, ‘Not only would Caly be allowed to go to school here, we want her here as a student.’ It’s a great cultural bridge for their students and certainly for Caly.”
Peter, who says he makes half of what an American mailman does while paying twice the cost of living, now needs to come up with money for Caly’s return trip. And though, Peter says he’d “sell everything he owns” to see his daughter, he’s still infuriated.
“Even if laws and rules are there in black and white, life is not always that way,” he explains.
There is a solution.
Get out of there. Come home.
At one of our borders, there’s nothing to hassle you but the warm weather and a muddy river.
David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. Reach him at 303-820-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
