Editor’s note: To mark the May 9-10 farewell episode of Buntport Theater’s live sitcom “Magnets on the Fridge,” which ends after five years and 65 original episodes, Denver Post theater critic John Moore conducted a completely silly, tongue-in-cheek interview with the cast as a sendup of those TV specials that often precede the airing of any highly anticipated series finale. The interviews that follow are real. Everything said in them is a joke.
By next week, Erik Edborg will disappear into Tokyo to perform in the anonymity of a Wild West stunt show. Or perhaps China. Or Vietnam … he’s not really good with a map.
Erin Rollman figures it’ll be two decades before she can stomach seeing her castmates again. And Brian Colonna says his shoulders have grown weary from “carrying an entire show,” he says, especially while standing, his fans will be shocked to learn here, on two wooden legs.
On the eve of the final new episode of “Magnets on the Fridge,” Denver’s phenomenally popular live sitcom about five friends in a book club, the cast is spewing all their secrets about what must have been one of the most dysfunctional entertainment programs in history.
These people have nothing to lose now but their antipathy.
Castmates now say Rollman, who plays the sexually uninhibited Paula, often would leave the theater for bars while still in character, only to carry out for hours the depraved proclivities of the fictional character she plays for only 45 minutes at a time on stage.
Evan Weissman, who claims to be a student of the Daniel Day Lewis school of acting, forced Edborg to carry him – literally – for years. “I didn’t read his book, I just heard Daniel had people carry him around,” Weissman says. Rollman says Weissman just got confused after having seen Lewis in the film “My Left Foot,” but she never cared to set him straight. Edborg was just happy for the exercise.
Few in the audience ever knew Colonna’s legs are actually prosthetics, but his castmates certainly did. Most acting companies have pre-show rituals. Buntport’s, Rollman says with an evil laugh, was “to steal Brian’s legs” just before showtime. “Every single time.”
You’d think after a few years, Colonna would start to see it coming. “Yeah,” he admits. “But I never do. You guys are crafty.”
And what of Hannah Duggan? The actor who played anchorwoman L.P. abruptly quit the show in February and moved to New York amid rumors of an affair with a castmate. Audiences all but demanded her return for the finale but, Weissman says, she has not been heard from since. What’s her deal?
“Pregnant,” says Rollman. “She’s a drinker … drugs,” adds Weissman. Edborg says Duggan fled to escape her addiction to “biker bars.”
Worse, says Rollman, “She’s just a bawdy, terrible actress,” quickly adding, “I don’t want to say anything bad about other people, but. …”
With that kind of tumult behind the scenes, you might think “Magnets” is ending in the midst of creative chaos. And you would be right. The proud premise of the series in 2001 had been for each episode to be based on a book selected at random from audience suggestions. But, Rollman now brazenly admits, the cast hasn’t much bothered adhering to that for years, because “that just means more work for us.”
Then just last week, a tabloid report revealed that this week’s final episode, previously revealed to be based on Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go!” was bought and paid for in the form of a $400 bribe from a zealous fan.
How far have the once widely respected Buntporters strayed from their once noble literary mission?
“I always thought they were movie titles,” Edborg whispers in a rare expression of fraudulent honesty.
And for what? What’s $400 to Buntport?
“A pizza party,” says Rollman. Adds Colonna: “We decided to wrap the money around cigars and conspicuously smoke them.”
And yet, what’s in it for the anonymous briber? Not much.
“First of all, I didn’t bother to read the book, even though it’s by Dr. Seuss and it’s like two pages long,” says Rollman. “No. 2, we didn’t even write the book into the episode. So take that!”
After all these troubles, the cast’s arrogance remains as blinding as a bejeweled Colonna jumpsuit.
“I can tell you that the final episode of ‘Magnets’ will be the best end of any show ever made in any medium,” said Weissman. “Put quotes around that, newspaperman.”
“Magnets on the Fridge”
LIVE SITCOM|Buntport Theater, 717 Lipan St.|Series-ending episode after five seasons, each based on a book title|ENDS WEDNESDAY|8 p.m. and 10 p.m. Tuesday, 8 p.m. Wednesday| $5-$7|720-946-1388 or buntport.com
To read the entire transcript of John Moore’s tongue-in-cheek interview with the “Magnets on the Fridge” cast .
