Dear Amy: I have made my mission in life to rescue and save rabbits. Unfortunately it is starting to wear on my family. I have more than 75 rescued rabbits in our home, and I am trying to start a nonprofit foundation to save the rabbits.
My marriage has started to suffer. My husband feels like I care more about the rabbits than our marriage or children. My 10-year-
old son hates the bunnies, and my 17-year-
old daughter has moved out to live with her boyfriend. My husband is threatening to leave and hand the rabbits and me over to the authorities.
– Rabbit Lover
Dear Lover: If you “rescue” a sick or injured rabbit and that rabbit goes on to give birth to more rabbits, then dies of illness or injury, the rabbit leaves a family of baby rabbits that wouldn’t otherwise have been born and are now orphaned. If the ill rabbit you rescue has an illness that it passes on to other rabbits, it could lead to the death of more animals.
I read your letter to Randy Frost, a professor at Smith College in Northampton, Mass., and an expert in animal hoarding. Frost outlined the signs of an animal hoarder, and you seem to qualify. “Animal hoarders begin with a mission but then the rescue takes over and causes a decline in the home and relationships. The tipping point is impairment in other aspects of life – or in the health of the animals,” he says.
I think you’re at your tipping point. You have sacrificed your own family for these rabbits. Please turn your interest (and your animals) over to a responsible rescue organization and perhaps volunteer with the organization. You should receive a mental health screening. Hoarding can become progressively worse without treatment.
…
Dear Amy: My wife wants to give away a little doodad to her grandchildren. We have had this item in our house for some time.
I’ve always liked this particular doodad and do not want to part with it. I was surprised and disappointed when I discovered her plan, which included not asking my permission. She contends that because she was the one who purchased the doodad, she could do with it whatever she wanted.
I pointed out that because she had made the decisions on practically everything in our home, then she could dispose of it all without my permission. “Not the big stuff, just the small things,” she replied. Am I wrong to feel disenfranchised?
– Dennis
Dear Dennis: You seem to feel that your house is a democracy. Unfortunately, you’re married to a despot. She’s giving you a vote – but it doesn’t necessarily count. If your wife purchased this item with her own money, then she could make the argument that it is hers to give away, but if you two pool your money and she uses those funds to furnish your home, then your household goods belong to the two of you.
She is being disrespectful to you, but it did serve a purpose. It got your attention.
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