What does it take to be a father? Some insight into that agonizingly simple yet complex question may be provided by Ed McGlasson. A former NFL player, and the father of former University of Colorado All-America golfer Ed McGlasson IV, McGlasson is the author of “The Difference a Father Makes: Calling Out the Magnificent Destiny in Your Children.” Having made the transition from the NFL into the ministry, McGlasson took some time recently from a book tour to spread the word a bit.
Anthony Cotton: How do you go about “growing” a book?
Ed McGlasson: Well, you have to live the message or you’re not going to be believable. That’s just part of life. My product is actually my kids. The book is just a story of how God turned an orphan – my dad was killed in action – into a father. Right now, I’m trying to address this need; 51 percent of all the kids in America are going to bed every night without the voice of their dad in the home. Imagine the football team there in Denver not having an end zone, they’re just running up and down the field. Or a basketball team not having goals so they don’t know when they score. It’s kind of the same thing for a young person if they really don’t know what their dad thinks about them and there’s no graduation from boyhood into manhood. I’m trying to draw the goal line, equipping men to help bring out the destiny that belongs to their kids.
AC: And that’s done how?
EM: We saw this model with Tiger Woods. His dad, Earl, spoke of his son, saying Tiger would have as much effect on mankind before he died as Gandhi.
AC: But he received a lot of criticism for saying that.
EM: He got criticized, but Tiger Woods believed that about his life. A dad has this prophetic-like voice over his children. And if he’s present, and speaking life into his kids, they believe it. But if he has sold out to work, or his own adventures, and really doesn’t know how to call out the destiny of his kids, there’s a huge question mark. My son had a friend on his high school golf team, and toward the end of his senior year he came over to me on the range and said, “Can you be my dad?” I said he had a dad. He said, “No. Do you know my dad has never, ever once seen me hit golf balls? You’re out here every single time Edward’s at the course.”
That broke my heart. I just started standing behind him and giving him pointers and doing what I did with my son. Just being there and letting him know that no matter what he did, he would be supported.
AC: But where is the line drawn between that and the overbearing, Todd Marinovich-type of father?
EM: I actually know him. I played with the (Los Angeles) Rams and Todd was our strength and conditioning coach. Here’s the difference: It’s all about who you’re doing it for. If you’re trying to name yourself as a man because you weren’t named by your dad, then you’re going to be one of those Little League tyrants who scream and want to get into fistfights when their kids don’t win the game. But if you’re doing it because you want to see your son fulfill what’s in him to do, then it’s about being present and loving your children and helping them become what they need to be.
AC: Your father died shortly before you were born. When did your mom remarry and what role did your stepfather play in your life?
EM: My mother remarried when I was 1. When I was 14, my stepfather one day had left the keys to the car in his pocket. He was a submarine commander and he was leaving for three months. They were shipping out, and he grabbed a bullhorn and over the whole crowd he shouted out, “Ed, today you’re a man, drive your mother home.”
The problem was I had never driven a car before. He drove a car that my mom refused to drive, the kind with the old clutch. I gave my mom whiplash but I made it, because my dad said I was a man in front of all my friends and everybody. He declared his love for me and it did something to me. I didn’t have to work or perform for it anymore, I had graduated into it.
AC: What do you see when you look at Ed?
EM: Part of the role that I’ve had in Ed’s life was to call him to be a man when he was 13 1/2. I removed him from the structure that most parents use to empower him. But when I started to speak in Ed’s life, when he was really young, I told him he was destined for greatness, that no matter what he did, he would be a leader. He’s an amazing, kind man, and he works as hard as anybody out there. He’s got integrity and stands up for what’s right and what’s true.
AC: Obviously, there was an incident with the golf team this year, with the players being suspended for going to a strip club. Ed was the only one who didn’t go because he was away from the team on vacation. Had he been with them for that road trip, what would have happened?
EM: If Ed had been there, I don’t think any of them would have gone. Everybody makes their own choices, and I really feel bad for all the guys. I want to be careful about this, because I don’t want it to appear at all that I’m being demeaning to the other guys. These guys have gone through hell because of this. It was very disappointing as a father to see (the late CU golf coach) Mark Simpson’s legacy get knocked sideways, but I just don’t think Edward would have been there.
AC: How did you make your transition from the NFL into the ministry?
EM: I was playing for the Philadelphia Eagles and I got a knee injury in training camp. At the same time, I kind of got the call from above. There was a moment when I felt the Lord was calling me to do ministry instead of being a football player. My career was really moving ahead but the Lord said to give it up and preach the gospel. I wish I could say that was an easy choice for me. Going from a lifestyle of being a hero to learning to be a servant was the challenge of a lifetime, believe me.
AC: Doing the book, being on tour for it, do you ever find yourself being pressured to have all the answers about raising children and being a father?
EM: When they read the book, they realized I’m just an old football player. If I can do it, anybody can do it. I have a lot of people who are calling me now, but I think I’ve made every mistake you can make as a dad. I’m just trying to help the learning curve for anybody who reads it.
Anthony Cotton can be reached at 303-820-1292 or acotton@denverpost.com.
