Laughing all the way to the notes column …
What a long, strange trip it’s been for Cory Sullivan. To wit: After going 1-for-4 on Monday night, Sullivan is hitting .265 – .309 on the road, almost 100 points lower (.213) at home. Wait, there’s more. He was hitting a buck-69 at Coors Field before those six hits over the weekend sent him soaring above the Mendoza Line. …
The team to beat in the NL West? If the Dodgers aren’t that team today, they will be when they acquire Alfonso Soriano. The Nationals want prospects, and the Dodgers have more than anyone out there. …
Random thought while watching Shaq clank free throws: I’ll never say another disparaging word about a pitcher who can’t bunt. …
Poor Shaq. As he bricked his 14th free throw in 16 tries, I actually found myself feeling sorry for a man who makes $30 million a year and lives in a beachfront mansion. …
After years of wondering, I finally figured out Monday why the rest of the world is so attracted to soccer. You can take a bathroom break, write a column, clean the garage and hit the shower without missing a thing. …
Excuse me, Dean Wormer, did you catch how many goals Team USA scored against the Czech mates? Oh, yeah. “Ze-ro … point … ze-ro.” …
Talk about sweating it out. Those 10 players Jason Grimsley gave up to the feds must be on needles and needles wondering whether their names will go public. …
E-mailer, wondering about the football scores followed by pitchers’ duels at Coors Field: “What if the Rockies decide they need more offense and start using non-humidor balls without notice? Or maybe it’s God’s will. Who am I to question?” Actually, for the record, it’s Jesus Alou‘s will. …
It’s when, not if Todd Helton gets hot. But still, don’t we have to wonder if much of his power is gone for good? Fact is, he’s following the same career path as Don Mattingly – great, great player until his back went out on him. …
This just in. Onterrio “Whizzinator” Smith, no relation to Byron “Whizzer” White, was released Monday by the CFL’s Winnipeg Blue Bombers. …
Syndicated columnist Tom FitzGerald, on Grimsley’s future: “His alternatives are a little limited – the witness-protection program or the Toronto Argonauts.” …
I don’t want to say anything, but the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim’s season is becoming longer than their name. …
Only the dog-bottom Royals. The Devil Rays homered in six innings Sunday in serving Kansas City its latest mug of misery. …
Let’s see. Barry Bonds continues to proclaim his innocence, but wants immunity from the feds before he talks to Major League Baseball investigators about steroids. So if he’s innocent, why does he need immunity? …
And while we’re on the subject, memo to Bud Selig: Gaylord Perry asked me to tell you he’s fed up with all the cheating going on out there. …
Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson playing on Sunday for the U.S. Open. Here’s hoping it happens. In case you hadn’t noticed, Tiger vs. Lefty is the best personal rivalry left in sports. Williams vs. DiMaggio, Wilt vs. Russell, Connors vs. Borg. … Personal rivalries in sports are about as 21st century as beehive hairdos and leaded gas. …
ESPN.com’s Marc Stein, on the NBA’s procrastinating ways: “Four days off before Game 1. Two days off between Game 1 and Game 2. Shaquille O’Neal isn’t the only one who wants to see more of the ball.” …
Michelle Wie says she’s happy to have come close at the LPGA Championship with her B game. Huh? How do we know it was her B game? Sorry, kid, but you don’t get to recite the alphabet when you’ve never won anything. …
Maybe John Daly can show him how to lose his shirt: Newest Cowboy Terrell Owens showed up at Sunday’s Dallas-Miami game wearing a Heat jersey.
Catch Jim Armstrong from 6-9 a.m. during “The Press Box” on ESPN 560 AM. He can be reached at 303-820-5452 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com.
