The first fight for the newly engaged just may involve wedding registries.
Disagreements over place mats, china and kitchen appliances might seem silly, but registries are complicated and time-consuming.
Couples should view registering as a chance to stock up on items they won’t splurge on for themselves, like china, a bar set or a top-of-the-line food processor.
Wedding experts say registering soon after the engagement is best, as guests may want to buy gifts for the engagement and shower.
But don’t rush the process.
“Go slow, and figure out things you really love and need,” says Kathleen Murray, senior editor at the wedding website The Knot (theknot.com).
Because thoughts on how to approach registries vary widely, we culled the opinions of several wedding experts to offer a practical guideline for getting registries right.
Take an inventory
The first step is to assess what you already own. Couples should think about which items they want to upgrade and which still work. Discuss which colors and patterns you want for linens, place mats and dish patterns to make sure your styles mesh.
Other decisions include whether you want fine china, need wine glasses or should upgrade your bedding. Think about how much space you have before you register for large items, like a standing mixer.
“It’s important for couples to register for things that they really want,” Murray says. “We always say, ‘Think in the now.”‘
This is also a good time to clean out your home and get rid of items you never use.
“It’s a great time to purge,” Solomon says.
Shopping tips
First, visit your chosen stores without adding anything to the registry.
Ask store employees exactly how guests access the registry – and also ask whether they can buy over the phone and online.
Also ask about shipping policies, and find out how long the store will keep your registry online after the wedding.
Some stores let couples buy the remaining items in their registries at a discount after the wedding.
Registering tips
Pick out three or four stores, and make sure to register with at least one national chain so people who live elsewhere can buy off the registry.
Many local stores also have registries so you can pick out gifts from your favorite home decor store.
Register for gifts with a variety of price levels. Don’t forget to ask how long the store carries some seasonal items, since they are rotated.
If you really love a seasonal piece, add it right before the wedding to ensure it is in stock.
Ten basics
For couples just starting out, here are 10 registry recommendations from wedding website weddingchannel.com:
Casual dinnerware: Choose a dishwasher- and microwave-safe style that can be dressed up for entertaining but is casual enough for everyday use.
Casual glassware: Register for a variety of everyday glassware such as water glasses, juice glasses and tumblers.
20-piece flatware set: Durable, dishwasher-friendly flatware is critical for your kitchen. Find an attractive, stainless-steel style. A five- piece set usually includes a dinner fork, salad fork, dinner knife, soup spoon and teaspoon.
Mixing bowls: You’ll use these bowls for everything from food preparation to serving dishes. Many come stackable to save space in your kitchen.
Mixer: Standing mixers are great and durable for those who love to bake. For those who don’t, there are plenty of high-quality hand mixers available.
Cookware: Even noncooks need some pots and pans. A basic stockpile includes 8- and 10-inch frying pans, a covered sauce pan, a covered saute pan, a covered chef’s pan and a covered stockpot.
Toaster oven: Toaster ovens reheat and cook small items in addition to toasting morning bagels.
Blender: A blender mixes up smoothies and cocktails.
Wine glasses: Casual wine glasses work for informal entertaining or for the post-work glass of wine.
Cutlery: Here’s your chance to get a high-quality set of knives that will last for years.
