Dear Amy: My fiance and I live in a small community of townhomes.
Our neighbors have a small dog that is disturbing our peaceful life. The dog’s barking disturbs our dinners, our reading and even our sleeping. The neighbors also insist on leaving their front door open, and the dog barks at passers-by.
We talked to the neighbors soon after they moved in to let them know we could hear the dog every time it barked.
We have contacted the condo association about this, but they are basically powerless unless it is a major nuisance.
Do you have any advice on how to address this?
– Annoyed
Dear Annoyed: You need to get in touch with your inner-nuisance meter. If a constantly barking dog isn’t a “major nuisance,” then what is? Review the rules of your condo association, write a letter to the board outlining the exact problem and attend the next board meeting in person to make sure that your case gets the attention it deserves.
If your association won’t take action (and they should), your town probably has noise ordinances. With some research you can find out what they are and determine if your neighbors are violating them.
You might have to be a bit of a squeaky wheel in order to get this resolved, but your community would no doubt prefer a squeaky wheel to a constantly barking dog.
. . .
Dear Amy: About two years ago my mother (an 80-year-old widow) rekindled a romance with a man she knew 60 years ago. He too had lost his spouse a few years ago.
We were all thrilled when he contacted her and flew down from New Jersey to see her for the first time in many years.
Since then, he has continued to “invite” himself down to stay with my mother – each time, staying longer. His most recent visit lasted six weeks.
My mother cooks, cleans and pays for all of the food, gas, etc. My mother is supported by Social Security, and this effort is becoming expensive for her. He makes no effort to share any expenses.
I am beginning to believe that this man is taking advantage of my mother. He was an accomplished scientist and is not hurting for money.
My mother seems to be somewhat blind to this; I think that he is mooching.
– Concerned Daughter
Dear Daughter: You can help your mother the most by continuing to stay close to her. If this man’s presence starts to isolate her from her family, then you and other family members should intervene.
At this point, however, you should sit down with your mother and review her finances, not to accuse this man of mooching but to make sure that she is solvent and making decent financial choices.
Offer to speak with her friend on her behalf. She might appreciate him contributing to the household but not know how to ask him to do so.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
