Planes, trains and notes. …
Chill out, Bronco Nation. Just because Ben Roethlisberger kept your boys from the Super Bowl doesn’t mean you have to kick him when he’s down on the asphalt. To wit: E-mailers are calling him Ben Toothlessberger and Ben Wrecklessdriver in the aftermath of his infamous motorcycle accident. Talk about a low blow. You guys need to sit next to Ozzie Guillen at sensitivity training class. …
Speculation in Pittsburgh is that Bill Cowher won’t have to worry about Big Ben’s riding exploits much longer. Cowher reportedly has built a home in the Carolinas, and the fear among Stillers fans is that he could pack it in after the ’06 season. …
I’m thinking, in light of his close call, Big Ben will be buying himself a nice, safe vehicle to navigate the mean streets of Pittsburgh. Something like, say, a Honda Element. Word is you can’t find a more solid bumper on four wheels. …
Latest, greatest oxymoron in sports: soccer analyst. If the match ends 0-0, which every other one seems to do, why would you need an analyst? This just in: Nothing happened! …
Don’t hold me to the name, but I saw the other day where one of the players in the World Cup was questionable for a match with a hand injury. Excuse me? What do you need your hands for in soccer? Those guys don’t scratch themselves in the bullpen, do they? …
I’m not much of a kickball guy, but I wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate Team USA on those four shots attempted in three games. Four shots? Kobe Bryant takes that many during a timeout. …
A few words of comfort for hard-luck Rockies ace Aaron Cook: Ex-Rox GM Bob Gebhard, now with the Diamondbacks, tells me Cook has 20-game-winner stuff. …
Where have you gone, Ellis Burks; Rockies Nation turns its lonely eyes to you: Cory Sullivan and Choo Freeman, the proud owners of virtually every at-bat by a Rox center fielder, had combined for one home run in 299 at-bats going into Saturday night. Of course, the second I use that note, Freeman goes deep against the Rangers. Am I instant karma or what? …
For the record, Juan “Gone” Pierre hit three homers during his days patrolling the North 40 at Coors Field. …
Like I knew I’d be asking this question in late June. Where, oh where, would the Rockies be without Jamey Carroll? Not that he’s the most shocking surprise of their season, but he hit two homers in 298 major-league at-bats in his 20s. …
Numbers? You want numbers? Try this one on for size, Sparky. Carroll went into Saturday night hitting .342, a.k.a. Babe Ruth‘s career batting average. …
How much does Albert Pujols mean to the Cardinals? He missed three weeks, but he still has 26 of their 70 home runs, leaving them 10th in the National League. Not that help isn’t on the way. At this point, the Yankees and Cardinals have to be thinking Carlos Lee would look good in their outfield. …
Cheer up, Braves fans. At least nobody will be punking your club for getting the old tight collar in October. …
Can a guy miss half the season and still be the MVP? The Cubs, 9-5 with Derrek Lee, 19-40 without him. …
Read it ‘n’ weep, Yankee fans: Jose Contreras, unbeaten in his past 16 decisions, and Marcus Thames, a former Yankee farmhand, are tearing it up for the White Sox and Tigers, respectively. …
Who needs air conditioning when you’ve got Torii Hunter standing in the box against Roger Clemens? The Twins center fielder is 0-for-25 with 14 whiffs against The Rocket. …
Post pucks maven Adrian Dater has a book coming out titled “Blood Feud, Detroit Red Wings v. Colorado Avalanche: The inside story of pro sports’ nastiest and best rivalry of its era.” For the record, the next time you see A.D., he prefers wordsmith to author. …
How do you make $5 million a year and wind up homeless? You get caught by Canadian photographers holding hands with Paris Hilton, that’s how. Gee, what do you think the first question will be for Jose Theodore come training camp? …
Broncos training camp is just over the horizon. How do we know? Because ESPN.com’s first NFL power rankings are out. Before you ask, the Bronx are fourth behind the Seahawks, Steelers and Colts. The rest of the AFC West: Chiefs (14th), Chargers (17th) and Raiders (don’t ask). OK, they’re 25th.
Catch Jim Armstrong from 6-9 a.m. during “The Press Box” on ESPN radio 560. He can be reached at 303-820-5452 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com.
