Dear Amy: I graduated from middle school and am going to high school in the fall.
During the school year, my close friend, “Lori,” went out with a younger boy who will be staying at the middle school next year.
I really did not like this boy, but my friend seemed happy so I was OK with it.
I didn’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings, so I sent an e- mail to another friend just to vent my anger over this.
Eventually they broke up. Then this guy got pretty creepy and started sending weird e-mails to my friend and me.
A few weeks ago, someone hacked into my friend’s e-mail and made copies of all the mean e-mails that I had sent.
Now I am getting blackmailed.
I just wish this whole mess would go away. I really have learned my lesson, and I will never write a mean e-mail again. I know I made a mistake, but I don’t know what to do.
I am afraid that he will bad-mouth me at my old school. What should I do? I have tried to send apology e-mails, but it is not working.
– Scared
Dear Scared: I’ll spare you the lecture about sending nasty e-mail, because you claim to have learned your lesson.
So here’s my mini-lecture on sending nasty e-mail: Don’t do it. Any and every e-mail you send can fly around the planet and end up posted on a bulletin board and discussed by eighth-graders in Beijing.
Think about this before you click “send.” This should die down and be forgotten about by the time school starts in the fall. If it doesn’t, or if this boy does or says anything further that creeps you out, then you should go to your parents and the school administrators. This boy needs to realize that cyber- harassment is completely unacceptable and that there are consequences for bullying people.
I assume that you are both maturing. The road to maturity is pockmarked with lessons such as this.
…
Dear Amy: The recent letters regarding single people being invited to weddings with guests prompted me to write.
My husband passed away seven years ago, and the children of our friends are just beginning to get married.
While I appreciate the occasional friend who invites me with a guest, I never expect it. As you so correctly remarked, the wedding is not about the guests. I, however, have a different issue.
At three of the last affairs to which I have been invited I have been seated with people I do not know, often singles.
At all of these parties there were multiple tables filled with people that I not only know but with whom I am friends. I lost my husband, not my friends. I sure don’t mind being invited alone, just being segregated because I am not part of a couple.
– Not a Table Filler
Dear Not: I understand your basic point. It would be thoughtful of the marrying couple to seat you with people who you enjoy being with, but your concern about being “a table filler” makes me wonder if you define yourself as a filler simply because you are single.
In order to be a good wedding guest, you should do your best to get to know and be gracious to and about your tablemates, no matter who they are.
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