Q: Hello Scott – Let me start off by saying that I love your column and I think that you give great advice. Now onto my problem.
Four years ago, I was dating this really great guy who also happened to be my best friend, but unfortunately, we broke up over a misunderstanding on both of our parts and didn’t speak to each other for a long time. Last year I got back in contact with him and found out that he is now married and has a son.
After the initial shock, I was/am completely happy for him. For a while I thought I had my best friend back when all of the sudden we fell out of touch again.
How should I go about getting in contact with him without him or his wife thinking that I’m still interested in him romantically?
SCOTT: It’s too bad you couldn’t communicate and patch things up over what now seems like a misunderstanding with your best friend/ex, but that was ages ago and what’s done is done – he’s moved on and so should you.
I’d reconsider getting in contact with him, though, because you’re not going to be able to do it without coming off as still interested in him…well, because you are. That’s pretty tough to hide, even from me.
He’s married now with a kid and while there’s nothing wrong with cherishing fond memories together, don’t let that keep you from getting over him. In other words, it’s a waste of your time to pursue anything with him, even though you want to.
Now is the time to start looking for a new boyfriend. Also, know that just because you’re not in a relationship now doesn’t mean he was the one for you. Everything has fallen into place the way it was supposed to, whether you agree with it or not. But have no fear, your Mr. Right will come. Keep your head up, be open to it and move on from your waste-of-time ex.
There’s only one thing better than being in love and that’s when the love is mutual.