The television images of intense fighting in his native country are nothing new to Dedi Ben-Dayan.
The bombs. The rockets. The grief. The accusations and justifications from both sides of a conflict soaked in blood since Ben-Dayan’s homeland of Israel was founded in 1948.
Life in the Middle East earlier this month was about the same as it ever was for the Rapids midfielder, who joined the team last August.
But things changed July 16 when the terrorist organization Hezbollah fired more than a dozen rockets into the northern city of Haifa, killing eight civilians.
About 60 miles south, along the striking coastline of the Mediterranean Sea, is where Ben-Dayan’s mother, Sylvia Assaf, lives alone in Tel Aviv.
“Now I think it’s different,” Ben-Dayan, 27, said of the recent fighting along Israel’s northern border. “(Hezbollah) always say they are always going to go all the way to Tel Aviv. It became frightening.”
Although nothing major has hit Tel Aviv, the outbreak couldn’t have come at a more peculiar time for Ben-Dayan, who was trying to leave the Rapids last month to care for his mother.
Ben-Dayan was unable to get out of his contract with Major League Soccer, short of being waived by the Rapids, something he was against because he did not want his rights claimed by another MLS team.
So the former Maccabi Tel Aviv star began the arduous task of getting his mom to come live with him in Denver. Days later, Israel began pounding Lebanon in retaliation for Hezbollah’s cross-border raid in which eight Israeli solders were killed and two were taken captive.
“It is a little bit scary, but what is going on is not something that is new for us,” Sylvia Assaf wrote in response to questions e-mailed to her. “Life right now is like normal for us because we are so strong mentally about the current situation. We cannot ignore what is going on right now, but we will still continue to live our life. We will not let anyone break us.”
Ben-Dayan’s thoughts about leaving the comforts of the United States changed then, but not like one might expect.
“Just because of the situation, I want to be there. I want to be by family,” said Ben-Dayan, who has a sister, Sefi, living in Italy. “I want to be with my country. If they are going to call me, I’m going to show up.”
Ben-Dayan, who is a self-proclaimed “peace guy,” knows that probably won’t happen. His mandatory, three-year stint in the Israeli Defense Force was tailor-made for an athlete on the national team. He received little weapons training and was in charge of leading new recruits in fitness drills.
But Ben-Dayan is a man of action at heart. Since his father left his family when he was a boy, Ben-Dayan always was, and always will be, the man in the house, according to his mother.
Ben-Dayan never has lost a friend to the fighting, although Israel’s decision Friday to mobilize its reserve forces could change that. Ben-Dayan’s closest brush with tragedy came in April 2003 while dining near the pub Mike’s Place in Tel Aviv, where a suicide bomber killed three and wounded 62.
“You live with it every day of your life and you get stronger and stronger,” he said.
Rapids coach Fernando Clavijo said the team supported, but never wanted to lose, Ben-Dayan, a rare, naturally left-sided player who has four goals and two assists in 15 games this season.
With Ben-Dayan unable to get out of his contract, Clavijo said the Rapids organization is throwing its weight behind the tedious paperwork Assaf will have to clear to come live temporarily with her son.
“You want to put yourself in his shoes all the time because it’s such a hard situation,” Clavijo said Friday.
Behind closed doors, Clavijo has used the situation to lend some perspective to a team frustrated with going winless in consecutive games.
“We need to look no further than Dedi’s mom right now,” Clavijo said.
Ben-Dayan certainly isn’t.
