Floyd, honey: I believe you. I know you didn’t do it.
The only thing Landis is guilty of is being a manly man. We don’t need a blood test to tell us that. It’s no surprise that anyone who can ride the Tour de France (never mind win it) with a bum hip has a little extra testosterone coursing through his veins.
I’m no expert on doping, but if he did take drugs, he should have found something stronger. The guy’s expression during a lot of the Tour gave a whole new meaning to the word “grimace.” He had pain written all over his face, pure and simple. So what, if anything, did he take? And what purpose did it serve?
Look, I hardly made it through high school chemistry – all the controversy over drugs in sports is so technical and complex that even the experts can’t seem to make much sense of it. Out of the dozen or so stories I read from the 18,500,000 items that came up on Google under Landis’ name, expert testimony is inconclusive at best. And I use the word “testimony” because everything in the media reads like a felony case. That truly confuses fans who simply want to appreciate the sport and its top contenders. Is it possible this is just misdemeanor stuff?
I have yet to read a single article that explains what the doping process is and how much it really enhances an athlete’s performance and the ability to win. What I have read is that testosterone is a naturally occurring hormone, and even when administered externally it’s not a quick-fix drug but a substance used over the long term to build muscle mass.
Performance-enhancing cocktail or not, didn’t the guy have enough of a handicap to begin with? Accusing a man who could hardly walk at the outset of the Tour of cheating is like saying, “The lady in the wheelchair doesn’t deserve to be the first one in the store because she got the best parking spot.” It’s ludicrous.
Besides, Landis just doesn’t fit the bad-boy profile. I haven’t read a single report on the guy that doesn’t mention how he was a raised a Mennonite in Pennsylvania. The kid grew up in a town called Farmersville, for crying out loud. Everyone who knows him talks about his innocence, how he never drank coffee or alcohol or even wore shorts before moving to California to pursue his cycling career. What, one day he woke up and went, “alcohol, coffee, growth hormones … it’s all the same”? His idea of being bad is drinking that single beer and shot of whiskey that almost cost him the race.
What I see going on here is another case of a barbaric public (and/or media) cannibalizing its heroes. Heaven forbid we let the guy enjoy his victory without trying to tear him to shreds first. Far be it from the masses of armchair athletes to put down their remote controls long enough to pat someone on the back and say, “Hey, nice job on winning the biggest cycling event in the world with a major injury with one of the most legendary comebacks in the history of sports.” It’s almost like we don’t want to believe it’s possible.
Whether or not he’s guilty, talented athletes ascend through the ranks because of their talent. Even if they do take drugs to sustain their careers, how is that different from an actor who has cosmetic surgery or a fashion model who uses drugs to suppress her appetite? (As I write this, Kate Moss, the supermodel who was photographed using cocaine at a London club last year, is featured in two of this summer’s biggest magazine ad campaigns.) Aren’t we, the public, responsible for setting these unrealistic standards in the first place?
And where do you draw the line? How are hormones and steroids different from cortisone injections and orthopedic procedures like the hip replacement surgery Landis is expected to have soon?
And finally, it’s the bad boys, not guys like Landis, who are always going to be ahead of the curve, figuring out how to trick the tests. It reminds me of the New England boarding school where I attended high school. The kids who were in trouble with drugs always found a way around the system. I remember once during our prom they administered Breathalyzers to anyone suspected of drinking, so everyone took LSD instead.
The cycling industry needs to mellow out. Or better yet, maybe they all need a little more testosterone.
Freelance columnist Alison Berkley can be reached at alison@berkleymedia.com.
