My mother doesn’t believe in doctors. She goes only if she’s in severe pain – as she did the time she had a toothache that lasted two weeks. Her resistance to regular checkups cost her a tooth.
I plead with her, but that doesn’t work. The last time she saw an eye doctor was two years ago when I tricked her into an appointment at an express eye-exam center in Manhattan. I got her in the door by telling her I wanted to check out frames. Even then, there was begging involved.
I never understood why as a mom she would rush me to a doctor if I had a persistent cough or a fever that lasted two days, but now in her late 70s, she won’t go for annual physical exams.
Her excuses make no sense: “I don’t want to know if I have a disease.” “God decides when it’s time for me to die.”
It’s all doomsday talk, and it only gets worse with each year.
Apparently, her aversion to doctors is a problem many elderly people have.
Dr. David Reuben, chief of Geriatric Medicine at the UCLA Medical Center, said, “For certain it’s a big issue.”
Reuben said as people get older they have more of a need to trust their doctor. They may feel vulnerable and for that reason hesitant, especially if someone they know was misdiagnosed or had a bad experience.
It’s a problem that is more pronounced among the poor, minorities, and people who grew up in rural areas – those least likely to have access to quality medical care.
Many also fear finding out they have a debilitating disease. “I hear people say ‘I don’t want to go because I don’t want to know.’ The assumption is that if they have a disease it’s untreatable or terminal and that’s wrong,” said Peter A. Lichtenberg, director of the Institute of Gerontology at Wayne State University.
He said more than any other demographic group, senior citizens worry that they will become a burden on others, mainly their kids.
So what should their kids do?
Reuben said we should help demystify the experience by going with them to a doctor that offers a welcoming environment, perhaps someone who is a geriatrician. It helps to check out the doctor and the office first, then talk the place up.
He said it’s also important to make sure the elderly remain active. Tai Chi or yoga classes at a senior center are good options. So are aquatic classes if they have access to a community center with a pool.
Eating well is vital. I’ve been singing the praises of whole grains for years, but it wasn’t until I cut out an article on the subject and sent it to my mom that she reconsidered eating white bread. Same thing with soda and all that nasty high-fructose corn syrup.
It’s ironic that my mom used to plead with me to eat my vegetables, and now the situation is reversed.
On the phone I quiz her about what she’s eaten. I cringe on the days she tells me she took her granddaughter to McDonald’s and while there had a Filet-o-Fish sandwich. I tell her she consumed Filet-o-Junk: It has little in the way of nutrients but is laden with salt and transfats, which clog arteries.
I ask her if that’s what she’d want me to eat. She pauses and says no. And then I give my lecture on fiber, vitamins, antioxidants and realize she doesn’t like the lectures any more than I did. But it sinks in. And she knows it’s because I’m concerned.
She promised me she’d see a doctor after she arrives in Puerto Rico for her winter getaway in a few weeks. I’ll make sure she keeps that promise. Even if it takes nagging. Even if I have to fly there to take her myself.
Cindy Rodríguez’s column appears Tuesdays and Sundays. Contact her at 303-954-1211 or crodriguez@denverpost.com.
