Every time Denver starts feeling like a leading American city again, some elitist from the East Coast has to make a crack at its expense.
Take Monday Night Football’s Tony Kornheiser, who, in an ungainly attempt to highlight the dominance of Broncos football in Denver, ticked off locals by suggesting our city doesn’t have much else going for it.
“Other than that (the Broncos),” Kornheiser declared before last Monday’s game against the Ravens, “what’s out here, besides sheep?”
Let’s just be thankful that Kornheiser didn’t summon the bovine of “Cowtown.”
And we won’t delve too deeply into the Monday Night Football crew’s mocking the “Buckhead” Exchange – taking into account it’s called the Buckhorn Exchange – as this sort of thing can happen to anyone. The establishment, after all, has only been in business for 650 years.
“In case you haven’t been to Denver since 1890, Tony … ” wrote Denver sports blogger Gabe Stein on AOL.com, “a few people actually live here now, and the Mile High City has developed into a pretty nice urban oasis.”
Stein is right. A few people do live here. The author John Gunther long ago called Denver “the most self-sufficient, isolated, self-contained and complacent city in the world,” but these days Denver is humming with urban energy. We maintain a botanical garden (very urban, I’m told), a sprawling convention center, theater, night life, crime, an intensely sophisticated post-modern art museum and … OK, sometimes we have sheep.
Did you know that the Rocky Mountain bighorn sheep is the official state animal, thusly decreed in 1961 by an act of the Colorado General Assembly?
The Colorado Wool Growers Association and Colorado Sheep & Wool Authority claim this state is the fifth-largest sheep and lamb producer in the nation, producing approximately 365,000 sheep and lambs per year.
Impressive. (It is? Right?)
There’s nothing wrong with producing sheep, per se – or cows, for that matter. It’s the West after all.
I’m originally from the East Coast, yet I have strolled past booths bartering bull sperm and hawking beef jerky at the National Western Stock Show & Rodeo. The stock show is situated a mere 20 minutes from my front door, where on some nights, the whistle of a 900-mile-long freight train keeps me awake.
Cow-towny? Yes. So what?
Now, with all that said, we must concede that Kornheiser’s larger point about the Mile High City and its Broncos is indeed true.
While taking note of quarterback Jake Plummer’s struggle to emerge from John Elway’s sizable shadow, Kornheiser claimed that, “being the Broncos quarterback is the most important job in the whole state of Colorado.”
This too ruffled feathers. Some maintain Kornheiser was employing hyperbole for comedic effect, others, that he’s a just a snob. I mean, we all know there are countless jobs more “important” in Denver than that of Bronco quarterback.
Like Broncos head coach, for instance.
Or Broncos general manager.
Cheerleader?
Let’s face it, collectively, there isn’t anything more sacred around here than Broncos football. If you doubt it, start by comparing the television rating of the governor’s State of the State speech to a preseason Broncos game.
This supremacy can really bother people who wonder why we spend time on such trivial matters. Football, of course, needn’t be a full-time proposition. Surely, those campaigning for Initiative X or Amendment 987 still show passion for the Broncos on Sunday.
In truth, sports can transcend racial barriers, economic situations and ideological impulses in a way that politics never could. Being a football town isn’t all bad.
So despite his remarks, I remain a big fan of Tony Kornheiser. He should just be aware that Denverites, though typically huge Broncos fans, are the most sophisticated, active and contemporary-minded group of folks to ever live within 10 miles of a stock show.
David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. He can be reached at 303-954-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
