Sometimes it’s about perspective.
The American patriot Nathan Hale, after being nabbed behind enemy lines and facing the gallows, allegedly said: “I only regret that I have but one life to lose for my country.”
In 2005, millions of Iraqis showed up to cast ballots in the nation’s first truly free election – despite the threat of being beheaded and left in a ditch somewhere by Islamic fundamentalists.
And on Tuesday, Denverites united as one to complain about … long lines.
OK, it wasn’t just the lines. Sometimes the lines were outside, even. In that dreadful fall Colorado weather, voters were forced, with creaky fingertips, to grip Cinnamon Dolce Crème Starbucks, speak to family and friends on cellphones and read the newspaper.
Democracy in chaos.
Many of the most vociferous undoubtedly have, at some point, spent more than an hour waiting for a seat at a Cherry Creek restaurant, some dreadful movie or shopping for a new hard-to-get pair of sneakers for the brood.
An angry Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper claimed it was “one of the most frustrating days, if not the most frustrating, I’ve had since becoming mayor.”
The most frustrating day? I could come up with a few more tragic Denver moments that might have frustrated the mayor more. If this is the worst, consider yours a blessed term.
The leap from legitimate bellyaching to corrosive rhetoric happened rather quickly. And it was nothing more than self- serving and political.
For instance, Denver Auditor Dennis Gallagher sent a letter to Election Commission director John Gaydeski, claiming that voters were “being denied” the right to vote “through bureaucratic incompetence, indifference or worse.”
There were horror stories Tuesday, but not a single person was deliberately “denied” – a word used to indicate a dastardly plan to disenfranchise voters – their vote by the city.
Gallagher is right about bureaucratic incompetence, however. Long lines at a government-run office? Surprise.
Everyone realizes, I hope, that there is early voting in the state. You can mail your ballot in. Or don’t vote at all. (A perfectly honorable form of protest I like to practice on occasion.)
In truth, it’s easier to vote than ever.
Obviously, there were problems that need to be addressed. If we can roll up to a window and have a tasty trans-fat-filled meal waiting for us within minutes, voting can be streamlined on Election Day.
So you have to wonder why sophisticated city-dwellers – most of whom are experts at high-tech phones and conducting monetary transactions on ATMs and WiFi laptops – are transformed into Luddites when it comes to voting.
Stand-alone computerized voting machines are not networked. They are no more likely to be hacked than a machine that counts paper ballots. Mass fraud – despite what you see on HBO – is just a conspiracy theory. A form of self-
soothing for those who lose elections.
And I know one thing for certain: People are always biased; machines are not.
Secondly, as much as I respect our senior citizens – especially those who volunteer for a thankless job on Election Day – perhaps it’s time to seek more tech-savvy college students or professionals to run elections in Denver.
Speed things along, if you will.
Finally, a ballot should never be longer than the Medical College Admissions Test. And no, a voter shouldn’t have to bring crib notes to a ballot booth.
That’s one amendment to the constitution I think we can all agree on.
Now, Gallagher wants Denver’s two elected voting commissioners to resign. He also wants the mayor to fire … I guess, to fire everyone who had anything to do with the election.
Perhaps he’s right. But last I looked, we had a fair – though not perfect – election. And that’s what counts most.
And hey, Republicans lost.
Most people in Denver are pretty stoked about that.
You see. It’s all about perspective.
David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. He can be reached at 303-954-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.
