Dear Amy: While in the waiting room at my doctor’s office, I had to endure listening to a 30-minute cellphone conversation from a fellow patient – even though there is a sign on the office door that reads: “If you are going to have more than a brief conversation on your cellphone, please inform the receptionist that you will be stepping outside the office, where you may continue your conversation. Thank you for being courteous.” Obviously, the sign was ignored or missed by the “cell chatterer” – or else she felt it was her duty to inform me and two other patients about her family/life story.
What would have been the correct/proper thing to say to her? Would it have been better coming from one of us or from the receptionist? I’m just wondering how this should/can be handled in the future.
Oh, and just wondering how others handle this situation? Do they speak up to the cell chatterer? Do they clam up and endure the chatter? Is it OK for bystanders to make comments about the personal details the cell chatterer is sharing with everyone? After all, the cell chatterer can’t say, “Mind your own business” when the chatterer shared her business with everyone present.
– Too Much Information in N.Y.
Dear Tmi: When you’re in a public place with a stated policy in plain sight, you should go to the person in charge of that space (in this case, the receptionist) and notify her of the infraction.
I don’t know about the personnel at your doctor’s office, but my contact with medical office receptionists tells me that anyone willing to tangle with them does so at their own peril. They are accustomed to taking care of business in a busy, complicated environment, and they can bring down the hammer swiftly.
Once the applause dies down, you can go back to reading your Highlights magazine.
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Dear Amy: Since I broke off the engagement, my fiancée has returned the engagement ring to me. She is now asking me to buy the wedding ring that she had purchased for me.
What is the right thing to do?
-No Longer Engaged
Dear No Longer: This depends somewhat on the circumstances of the breakup. For instance, if your fiancée cheated on you, prompting you to call off the wedding, then she should return the engagement ring and absorb the cost of the wedding bands.
For a general guideline to this sticky subject, I spoke with Paola Domenge, director of marketing for the Tiny Jewel Box in Washington, D.C. Domenge is something of an expert on this. Not only is she in the jewelry business, but she also called off her own wedding seven years ago.
Domenge says that you should buy back the wedding band because you broke the engagement. “The person who called off the wedding is the one who cleans up the mess. He’s responsible for it not going through, so he should assume the risk. When I called off my own wedding, I gave back the engagement ring. My former fiancé had already purchased the wedding bands, but I paid him for the bands because I had created this mess and felt I had to clean it up. That’s the right thing to do.”
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Dear Amy: I’d like to comment on the complaint that a bride invited her co-workers to the wedding instead of relatives.
When my wedding came around, there were relatives who weren’t invited because I had invited friends and co-workers. I see and talk to my co-workers every day; we eat lunch together and share in one another’s lives.
In contrast, I see my relatives every couple of years during the holidays or at weddings. I decided that I’d rather spend my wedding day surrounded by people who care about me and who I care about, than with someone who is family by accident of birth.
– Happily Wedded
Dear Wedded: Thank you for sharing your point of view.
However, I do wonder how your relatives would feel about being referred to as “accidents.”
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