Minneapolis – For years, Anne Fletcher thought about writing a book on teenage weight loss. She’d written a best seller, “Thin for Life,” and another book for recovering alcoholics, “Sober for Good.” But the one for teenagers just hadn’t come together. Then her oldest son, Wes Gilbert, told her a story.
He was in the cafeteria line at summer camp when he noticed that the boy ahead of him asked for his salad dressing on the side. They started talking. The boy told Wes how he’d lost a lot of weight, and shared some of his dieting tips. Don’t pour dressing on the salad, he said, just dip your fork in it and then eat the salad.
This was not your standard 13-year-old guy talk. And that’s when Fletcher had her “eureka” moment. Her book would be advice from teenagers to teenagers on how they lost weight and kept it off.
“Weight Loss Confidential” ($26; Houghton Mifflin) hit the stores last month. And yes, it’s about teenagers and for teenagers, but also for parents. Fletcher knows what she’s talking about.
Her son, overweight as a teenager, is one of the kids in the book. Starting at age 13 he tried all kinds of diets, including one that required him to eat only what his mother ate. That didn’t work, either. “I had the motivation to lose weight at 13, but not the maturity,” he said.
Finally, as a high school senior he found the maturity and a technique that did work. He kept track of everything he ate in a daily planner, and started playing pickup basketball with his friends in the afternoons.
“That’s an important message for parents,” he said. “They can back off without feeling that they are giving up.” And for adolescents, he said, it means that they shouldn’t give up, either – because eventually they can find a way to do it.
Fletcher said she chose the teen-to-teen theme because at that age peers have the greatest influence, by far. But she found that parents and other family members also can have enormous impact on the child’s success – or failure.
The most important thing the kids told her was to “let the teenager decide” when and if to lose weight. The parents’ job is to provide unconditional love, set a good example, keep healthy food in the house, and prevent the child’s weight problem from defining their relationship.
