Dear Amy: A high school student was invited to go to the senior prom with her boyfriend.
The girl ordered a prom dress and paid for it.
When the girl arrived home after buying the dress, the boy told her that his parents had grounded him for six months for some behavioral problem.
The girl’s mother called the boyfriend’s mother and told her that she had bought a dress and could not return it, and asked if there was a way to work things out. The mother said she would talk to her son.
After a couple of weeks, the girl found out that the boy had asked another girl to go to the prom, and that he was no longer grounded.
Is there anything that could be done about this?
– Prom Deprived
Dear Deprived: I’m not sure why you can’t return a dress if it hasn’t been worn, but I’ll take your word for it.
I agree that if these two had an agreement to go to the prom, then any costs she has incurred associated with the cancellation (if she contributed for tickets, limo deposit and the dress) should at the very least be shared.
The girl in question has been treated very shabbily. However, the fact that she isn’t going to be stuck at the prom with this unscrupulous boy should be some compensation. It’s cold comfort, I know, but it would be nice if she could put her dress to good use and either go with another guy or with a group of friends.
She shouldn’t let this guy ruin her good time.
…
Dear Amy: I was married for 20 years to a man whom I grew up with, and we lived together for four years before we got married.
I left him last June, for the third time in two years.
I couldn’t take all the fighting and not being able to trust him.
He did not want to get divorced. He apologized many times and wanted to get back together, but I said “no,” and our divorce was final in January.
He brought his girlfriend to meet his mother for Easter and took her to meet the family, with my daughter there! I was angry. Do I have a right to feel angry? He tells me that I have to let go and get on with my life. I just expected a little more respect for my child and myself. This all happened during the first holiday since we where divorced, and it hurt.
– Disappointed
Dear Disappointed: If you left your husband last June, and he brought his girlfriend into the picture this past Easter, then I count several holidays between June and almost a year later before he introduced a girlfriend to your daughter. Granted, your divorce wasn’t final until January, but I gather that you and your ex-husband were living apart for at least six months before your divorce became final.
Your ex might have deliberately waited to have this meeting until after the divorce was final, which is appropriate.
Your ex’s responsibility is to make sure that he behaves respectfully to his daughter and her mother (you). But you both have the right to have other relationships, and while neither of you should have revolving-door relationships; there’s nothing wrong with introducing a friend to family during a family holiday.
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