Will work for notes. …
Memo to the 37 percent of respondents who, according to an ESPN/ABC News poll, want Barry Bonds to break Hank Aaron‘s home run record: Wake up and smell the BALCO. …
The Avs are done, the Nuggets are done and the Rockies are in last place. “Desperate Housewives,” meet Desperate Sportswriters. …
Not that I’m counting, but it’s 77 days, 21 hours, 39 minutes, 16 seconds and two arrests before the start of Broncos training camp. …
George Karl, on the state of the Nuggets: “We’ve put ourselves in a great position, the best position since I’ve been here, to have a better year next year. I think we’re all fed up with losing in the first round and we’re going to do whatever it takes to get out of the first round.”
Sounds good, but … “The West is awful difficult,” Karl said. “You have three championship teams that probably aren’t going to go away. San Antonio, Dallas and Phoenix have put themselves in a position where everybody respects them. They’re not going to go away next year. They’re going to be as good or better next season.” …
Just when you thought it wasn’t possible, the pitching just got tougher in the National League West. Giants farmhand Tim Lincecum, a No. 1 draft pick last June, made his big-league debut Sunday after a 4-0, 0.29 April at Triple-A Fresno. …
Roger Clemens‘ contract with the Yankees will pay him $153,846 a day, $6,410 an hour, $106.83 a minute and $12.46 in the time it took you to read this sentence. …
Clemens’ deal is prorated based on a yearly salary of $28,000,022. In case you’re wondering, the answer is no. The Rockies weren’t offering $28,000,021. …
Ultimate good ol’ boy Richard Petty, when asked by ESPN.com what he would say to Queen Elizabeth if they crossed paths during the Kentucky Derby: “I don’t know if I could talk to her, because I don’t speak English.” …
The queen didn’t make a single wager at the Derby? Let me guess. On her next stop, she’s hoping to catch a rain delay in Cincinnati. …
Meanwhile, in today’s non-news, Tiger Woods won another golf tournament. Any day now, the guy is going to start walking on water hazards. …
Scary thought du jour: If LPGA star Virada Nirapathpongporn gets married, she could have a hyphenated last name. …
He is hitting .389 at a time he’s usually digging out from a .250 April. I don’t know, you tell me. Why can’t Todd Helton win the NL batting title? …
From the e-mail bag: “Could you please send me four autographed pictures or index cards? And could you personalize them to Alex, Paul, Spencer and James?” Sure, no problem. “To Alex, Paul, Spencer and James, get a life.” …
The Lions are trying to work out a long-term deal with defensive tackle Cory Redding, their designated franchise player. Lions franchise player. Isn’t that an oxymoron? …
Random thought while watching blood gush from Steve Nash‘s nose: Good thing it wasn’t Tony Parker who came out on the wrong end of it. Dude is marrying Eva Longoria after the playoffs. That would have been uglier than the Lyle Lovett–Julia Roberts nuptials. …
Kim Clijsters has retired from tennis at 23, saying her aching muscles couldn’t take it anymore. My chiropractor and I are crying you a river, kid. …
The sad state of Major League Baseball in Florida: The Marlins and Devil Rays combined to draw 32,190 on Sunday, fewer than nine of the other 12 games on the schedule. …
And finally, happy 48th birthday to Ronnie Lott, the roughest, toughest and best safety that ever was.
Jim Armstrong can be reached at 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com.
