As for me, give me liberty or give me notes. …
Read it ‘n’ weep, Avs fans. The boys on the bumper stickers are going to the Western Conference finals. Which reminds me. Are they going to, like, bury Chris Chelios in those skates? Retire already, will ya? …
Memo to Melo: Hang in there, kid. Tracy McGrady, your basic Hall of Fame talent, is 0-for-6 in the playoffs, including 0-for-3 in Game 7s. …
And how did the Rockets manage to lose to the Jazz despite having home- court advantage? For one thing, the Jazz turned Yao Ming into a basket case. Dude had – count ’em – 29 turnovers in the last five games. …
Count George Karl among those not surprised by the Jazz’s first-round knockout of the Rockets. I asked him during the season to rank the top coaches he has encountered and he tabbed Jerry Sloan No. 1. Said Karl, “For some reason, my stuff doesn’t work against him.” …
Working stiffs near and far, I give you your new hero: Warriors coach Don Nelson, who has been ordered by the NBA to lose his postgame brewski in news conferences. …
Mike Shanahan on NFL commish Roger Goodell’s hard-line stance with problem-children players: “I think it’s great. We all know that, if you get arrested, you can plea bargain. … The commissioner is going to look at something and say, ‘Hey, you know what? We’re not going to plea bargain this. I’ve looked at the scenario and this person is guilty. He’s going to be suspended.’ … What it makes people do is be accountable for their actions.” …
News: David Ortiz not convinced that Barry Bonds has used steroids. Views: The man has a point. Bonds never has tested positive for anything, including personality. …
Turns out location, location, location isn’t just a real-estate thing. To wit: Chris Webber, the man with the plan in Motown. …
Not that Oscar De La Hoya vs. Floyd Mayweather Jr. didn’t live up to the hype, but I’ve looked worse after a mosquito bite than those two did after going 12 rounds. …
No, really, I’m not making this up. St. Louis University has invited Yogi Berra to speak at its commencement ceremony later this month. Reminds me of one of Yogi’s best lines: “The future ain’t what it used to be.” …
If you’re counting on the Brewers falling apart, don’t. Every scout with a radar gun and a tan was talking them up during spring training. …
Add Brewers: Not that they’re getting a little pitching, but three of their starters have sub-3.00 ERAs, and none is named Ben Sheets. Oh, and closer Francisco Cordero has 13 saves, a 0.00 ERA and two hits allowed – no typo, just fact – in 14 2/3 innings. …
Nice youth movement, Brian Cashman. You almost made it to mid-June before The Boss started writing checks. Not that signing Roger Clemens makes much sense. He’s a five- or six-inning pitcher and the Bombers’ middle relief is spelled R-O-T-T-E-N. …
But don’t take my word for it. The Rocket made 19 starts last season and pitched six or fewer innings 13 times. That explains why he hasn’t had more W’s to go along with those sublime ERAs. …
It’s Michael Jordan’s world, we just live in it. A few days after teeing it up with Tiger, M.J. was spotted hanging out at the Kentucky Derby. …
And finally, happy trails to baseball junkie/beer connoisseur/gossip columnist Dick Kreck, retiring next month after all these years on The Post’s pages.
Jim Armstrong can be reached at 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com.
