The monkey business
Former Los Angeles Kings center Jeremy Roenick seems to be dealing with the monkey. Not the one on his back, mind you (18 seasons, no Stanley Cups), but the one in the TSN studio. Roenick, a guest analyst on the Canadian network, is next-to-last among five “experts” and one simian making predictions before each round of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Still, Roenick’s 8-4 record is one better than Maggie, the monkey from the Bowmanville (Ontario) Zoo that TSN has spin a wheel to predict games. It may be a bit disconcerting to bank the entire evolution argument on Roenick’s shoulders, mainly because history seems to side with Maggie. “She was born in Canada and has watched hockey since an early age,” zoo owner Michael Hackenberger said.
A thumbs up for Cox
There is one quest for baseball immortality this season that won’t end in an asterisk. Atlanta Braves manager Bobby Cox has moved within three ejections of John McGraw’s baseball record of 131. “I think all of the umpires should get together and give him something,” Braves right-hander John Smoltz said. Cox, meanwhile, said he is “a little embarrassed” by the dubious honor, though he admits that being tossed is likely “just about every time” he leaves the dugout. No word whether former Braves slugger Hank Aaron will be in attendance when Cox goes for the record.
The writing’s on the ball
A few Cleveland Indians fans were enjoying a typical night (including heckling the visitors) at the ballpark when one asked Blue Jays outfielder Vernon Wells for a ball. The next inning, Wells obliged, tossing the fan a personalized baseball that read, “Here’s your ball, now please tell me what gas station you work at so I can come and yell at you when you’re working. Please sit down, shut up and enjoy the game. From your favorite center fielder, Vernon Wells.”
It could happen
“Right … (and) Roger Clemens is retiring, B.J. Ryan has a sore back and O.J. Simpson is looking for the real killer.”
Bill Lankhof, Toronto Sun columinst,
on Floyd Mayweather insisting he plans to hang up his gloves despite his latest win
