Who was that beer barrel dressed in a Broncos uniform? Gigantic defensive tackle Sam Adams wore No. 63. If that was an XXXL jersey busting at the seams, then maybe he needs No. 126.
“As you can see, I had to hold my breath the entire practice,” Adams said Tuesday, eclipsing the sun as he walked off the football field for the first time with his Denver teammates.
Not to say Adams is huge, but he makes “Refrigerator” Perry look like a $1.99 Styrofoam cooler. This big new dude on the Denver D-line could cause your average household scale to spin like a wheel of fortune.
How many lb’s is Adams packing on his massive frame? I’d guess he weighs Dick Butkus, plus more than half of Jack Ham.
At age 33, Adams wants to drop a bag of cheeseburgers and get himself down to a playing weight of 335 pounds.
Forget you, Dr. Atkins. And who needs hoodia? Welcome to the Sam Adams Diet. It’s simple.
“What’s the diet key?” said Adams, a wry smile creeping across his face. “Don’t eat.”
OK, no more fat jokes. I promise.
Why?
Because the joke is on all the offensive linemen Adams will splat on the road to the Super Bowl.
The Broncos did not sign Adams to a one-year contract in hopes of beating up some 98-pound weakling from Detroit in November.
Denver got Adams to steamroll the AFC heavyweights certain to be encountered week after week once the serious business of the playoffs begins. From Peyton Manning to LaDainian Tomlinson, nobody wants Adams to land on him.
The signing of Adams figures to be the most important acquisition during a hectic shopping period for coach Mike Shanahan, who has given his roster such an extreme makeover that even Broncomaniacs won’t be able to tell the players without a scorecard.
Size does matter in the approach of new Denver defensive coordinator Jim Bates, whose philosophy is no nonsense and all in your face.
“We’re not a finesse scheme team. It comes down to having a foundation where you don’t have to trick people to win games. We’re going to make a team beat us at what we do,” Bates said. “You can trick people in this league to win maybe a couple games a year. We’re not going to be plain vanilla. But you’re not going to win a championship over the long haul, unless you have the foundation and the personnel.”
Adams does not figure to be an every-down fixture in the middle of the Denver defensive line. Heck, whenever he trots off the field for a breather and a slice of pizza, it might take Adams two snaps just to make the return trip to the huddle.
Marveling at the serious dent this new player could put in foes, however, a Broncos employee who shall remain anonymous so as not to get sat on by an angry defensive lineman suggested Adams fills out a uniform the way Roseanne Barr fills out a miniskirt.
OK, no more fat jokes. And, this time, I really mean it.
Why? Because his presence will be so large that Adams should make many of his younger teammates appear sexier and more dangerous.
Park Adams and Gerard Warren side-by-side in the middle of the line of scrimmage and it will look like two Hummers squeezed in two tiny compact spots. This will allow Denver defensive ends to take their stances wider from where the football is snapped, and that’s perfect for a pass-rushing specialist such as rookie Jarvis Moss.
The massive hole created by the departure of talented linebacker Al Wilson also just got reduced by about 350 pounds. With offensive linemen forced to expend more energy rasslin’ with a bear of a man, Adams should allow new middle linebacker D.J. Williams more space to use his speed in ballhawking.
To be honest, all the pluses and minuses of Denver’s recent roster shifts did not convince me the Broncos really had what it took to throw their weight around in the rugged AFC, until Adams tipped the scales.
With the big right arm of quarterback Jay Cutler, the redwood-trunk legs of running back Travis Henry and the streamrollin’ blocking of tight end Daniel Graham, there won’t be many foes who will want to climb in the steel cage with Denver, once you add Adams to the fray.
“It’s always good to be loved. And us big guys, we don’t get a lot of love at times,” Adams said.
He ain’t heavy.
Rolling down a tough stretch of NFL road ahead, Adams is gonna be big, brother.
Staff writer Mark Kiszla can be reached at 303-954-1054 or mkiszla@denverpost.com.
