Everybody wants freedom. Then we hold elections, and everybody wants drug tests or psychological evaluations.
Which brings us to the All-Star Game. The teams will be announced today. Eight position starters voted in by fans, with reserves chosen by the players and the respective managers. Somebody will get hosed. Though with 32 on the team – that’s the Internet bonus pick – it’s hard to waste a Kleenex on No. 33. He’s unlucky, not Mr. Irrelevant.
The idea the San Francisco Giants would plug for Barry Bonds is shameful. Why not go with the truth, put Bonds on a billboard that reads “Will Sulk for Food.”
Bonds, ironically, will make the team because of his team. The Giants are terrible, leaving him as the best pick for their representative. His selection will likely cost Brad Hawpe a spot, as if Rockies fans needed another reason to despise the Giants’ slugger.
Rather than attempt to dissect the process – the punch cards, the online issues – I submit my single super team. All players are eligible. Direct any and all complaints to Home Plate Umpires of America – because at last check, they never got a call wrong.
Starting pitcher: Josh Beckett, Boston Red Sox. Jake Peavy, Brad Penny and Dan Haren present compelling arguments. But Beckett has been the best pitcher on the best team in the best league. Besides, he pitches mean. I like that.
C: Russell Martin, Los Angeles Dodgers. Martin goes by the nickname “Turtle” because of his resemblance to the actor in HBO’s “Entourage.” The competition might as well stay in a shell for years to come. This kid hits and calls a game like he’s been around for 15 years.
1B: Prince Fielder, Milwaukee Brewers. He’s on pace to hit more than 50 home runs. Little known fact: According to his estranged father Cecil, Prince is a first cousin to Heisman Trophy winner Ricky Williams. “My son can hit, and he can run.” And, presumably execute a hit-and-run.
2B: Chase Utley, Philadelphia Phillies. This guy brings power, energy and class. His uniform is perpetually dirty. He will finish in the top 10 of the MVP voting.
SS: Carlos Guillen, Detroit Tigers. A selfless player with power and an uncanny knack for hitting with men on base. His 21 RBIs in June sealed his selection.
3B: Alex Rodriguez, New York Yankees. The Yankees stink, but A-Rod can’t be blamed. Imagine that. He will opt out of his contract and receive $200 million on the open market.
LF: Matt Holliday, Rockies. Yankees manager Joe Torre said of Holliday: “You don’t realize how big he is. Or how good he is, until you see him in person.”
CF: Torii Hunter, Minnesota Twins. Talk about your contract push. Everybody knew about Hunter’s glove; now he’s hitting baseballs nobody catches (see 39 extra-base hits).
RF: Magglio Ordoñez, Tigers. Sorry Griffey, you’ve been special. My condolences, Vlad the Bad. Ordoñez has rock-star hair and rock-star stats. He’s flirting with .400 and ranks third in the league with 68 RBIs.
Low risk, high reward
It’s true too many trees die and servers crash over trade rumors that never materialize. But that doesn’t mean the right deal can’t make a difference in a division race. Rockies general manager Dan O’Dowd said last season the Padres’ acquisition of reliever Cla Meredith won the National League West. Well, in case you missed it, Padres GM Kevin Towers is at again. In the past two weeks, he’s pulled off a pair of low-risk, high-reward moves. He acquired catcher Michael Barrett for backup catcher Rob Bowen and a minor-leaguer – “an absolute steal,” an American League GM said. Then Towers added outfielder Milton Bradley for a young, erratic reliever.
Barrett fought his way out of Chicago, literally, exchanging punches with ace Carlos Zambrano. But at the end of the day, he offers 20-home run, 70-RBI production at one of the NL’s weakest offensive positions. Besides, if he fizzles, the Padres still have Josh Bard as a valuable safety net. Bradley is beyond volatile. He can pull a Dennis Rodman with the best of them. But he knows Padres special assistant Paul DePodesta from his time with the Dodgers, and he offers power for a weak offensive team. And if he goes off, the Padres can always cut ties because of the minimal financial commitment.
The West will be won in September. But the most important month might have been June.
Helton pulls for Baylor
If and when Don Baylor receives another shot at managing – and he’s still a candidate in Baltimore – Todd Helton will be pulling for him. Helton isn’t much for nostalgia or sentimental thoughts during the season. But when asked about Baylor last week, he revealed remarkable insight.
“He’s a great man. Honest. Someone you could trust,” Helton said of his first manager in the big leagues. “He really protected me. Of course, I didn’t realize it at the time, but I do now.”
Footnotes
The Rockies are among the teams scouting Yankees Double-A right-handers Joba Chamberlain and Ian Kennedy. The Rockies have veteran relievers Brian Fuentes and LaTroy Hawkins who could interest the Yankees, but Colorado has shown no signs, yet, that it will be a seller. … Strange thought du jour: Astros stage fire sale and Rockies swoop in and re-acquire Jason Jennings. It’s unlikely. At least that the Rockies get him, not that he will be traded. … Toronto’s Frank Thomas had grown weary of chasing 500 home runs. He said he wanted to get it over with so he could get on with the rest of his season. Told that the A’s could use his bat, he smiled. “That team wins with pitching and defense. They play with a lot of confidence. Those guys will be fine.” The slugger said it would be foolish at this point not to consider Haren among the game’s elite. … Double-A pitcher Greg Reynolds’ shoulder tendinitis came with time. As he was getting tests and ultimately more rest, Detroit’s Andrew Miller, selected after him in last year’s draft, was mauling the Atlanta Braves. He’s a 6-foot-10 left-hander with a crossfire fastball. Said his former college catcher Chris
Iannetta: “He’s amazing. And he’s not even throwing his off-speed pitches yet.”
Staff writer Troy E. Renck can be reached at 303-954-1301 or trenck@denverpost.com.
EYE ON …
BRAD PENNY, RHP, DODGERS
Background: It’s easy to forget that Brad Penny was once an Arizona Diamondbacks prospect, shipped off for oft-injured closer Matt Mantei. Penny helped the Florida Marlins win the 2003 World Series, was traded to the Los Angeles Dodgers in 2004 and once dated Alyssa Milano. That the latter wasn’t his career highlight is why you’re reading about him in this space instead of MySpace.
What’s up: Penny can be a complainer. He can be a malcontent. But at the end of the day, he’s a heck of a starting pitcher. Relying on a four-seam fastball in a league where everything cuts, sinks and drops, the 6-foot-4, 250-pound right-hander brings straight heat. Entering Saturday’s start, he ranked first in the National League in wins (10) and ERA (2.04). Opponents were hitting .235 against him.
What’s next: While San Diego’s Jake Peavy produces more strikeouts, his slight hiccup in June should give Penny the nod to start his second consecutive All-Star Game. Talk to hitters and they explain Penny’s success this way: He’s tough to pick up because of his deceptive delivery and he can work both sides of the plate with his fastball. Perhaps Penny’s most impressive statistic: He is 12-5 against the National League West the past two seasons, including 6-0 against the Rockies.
Renck’s take: Criticizing deposed Dodgers GM Paul DePodesta, now a special assistant in San Diego, became a cottage industry. He lacked media savvy, and often didn’t articulate his moves well to the buying public. But if the Dodgers advance to the playoffs for a second straight season, it will be due in large part to DePodesta’s acquisition of Penny for Paul Lo Duca, Guillermo Mota and the immortal Hee-Seop Choi and the signing of Derek Lowe for what appears to be a thrifty $36 million two years ago. The challenge for Penny is to finish. He’s never beaten anyone to the gym for a workout, and he has a history of breaking down in the second half. If he pitches .600 ball over the final three months, he could win the Cy Young.
AT ISSUE
HITTERS NOT ON THEIR USUAL POWER TRIP THIS SEASON
What: Alas, it’s not just the humidor. Players in parks around the big leagues are suffering a power outage. Gleaned from a story in The Washington Post and personal research, it’s surprising to learn that teams are averaging less than one home run per game. Projected over a full season, the average would be 158 per team. That figure was 180 last season.
Background: Because of the humidor effect at Coors Light Field, home runs are a hot-
button issue in Denver. The Rockies have hit 39 homers in 39 home games entering a week-long stand against the Mets and Phillies. That equates to 81 over 81 games, which would set a franchise low. But what about the league-wide trend? Though it’s erroneously reported, no other team uses a humidor. And yet only five players are on pace to hit 40 home runs? What gives?
Renck’s take: There are a number of theories for the power drain, some factual, some rock solid, some more Oliver Stone. For starters, there is a crop of better pitchers, from Justin Verlander to Dan Haren to Matt Cain. Some players are convinced the balls aren’t wound as tightly this season. Horrible weather was also a factor in April, as agent Scott Boras pointed out. But don’t discount the drug-testing policy. Yes, there are players still cheating, using human growth hormone and God knows whatever else chemists are cooking up. But the stiffer penalties for the causal steroids has had an impact. Ultimately, fewer home runs can lead to a better product. Home runs dumbed the game down, turned athletes into meatheads, one-trick ponies. When 30 home runs and 100 RBIs mean something again, the game itself is more meaningful.
THE RISE AND FALL
SORIANO GETS HIS GROOVE BACK
THREE UP
1. Cubs: Mr. Soriano, it’s stardom on the line, he’s returning your call.
2. Brewers: Don’t look now, but Prince Fielder could be baseball’s next home run king.
3. Mariners: Ichiro Suzuki has hit .383 since May 1, each hit making a ka-ching.
THREE DOWN
1. Rockies: Seven poor starts, four blown saves, two bad errors and a partridge in a pear tree.
2. Yankees: Brutal road trip through West put Joe Torre back on the Bunsen burner.
3. Giants: Dave Roberts is a nice guy having a tragically bad season.
