A half-hour before showtime, Annie Dwyer is greeting fans in the Heritage Square Music Hall dining room wearing an eye patch. But this isn’t “Blackbeard,” the preceding show, and this is no costume.
Tonight it’s “Too Old to Be Loud,” the seventh installment in the Heritage Square Music Hall’s popular series of pop-music revues.
The cruel irony of that title is Dwyer isn’t too old to be anything. Far too young to have the rheumatoid arthritis that has slowly contorted her feet and today has her fighting an eye infection and skin rash. She is old enough, though, to have danced her way through every show here for 16 years. That’s about 4,800 performances. Oh, those aching feet.
Dwyer talks openly of her progressive struggles, even poking fun in her program bio. But once she was so debilitated, she had to crawl off the stage. The unsuspecting audience laughed – and why not? That’s the kind of physical comedy one of Denver’s funniest funny ladies is known for.
When “Loud” starts, the eye patch is gone. You’d never know anything was wrong. She cracks wise with her “brother,” T.J. Mullin, explaining how these stage siblings are presenting a benefit to save their crumbling high school.
She’s a brazen vixen, Ms. Dwyer. In every “Loud” performance (now exceeding 450), she picks a gent from the crowd to play her character’s one true love, “Bobby Lee.” Tonight’s victim plays along enthusiastically, even momentarily stunning Dwyer – and bringing down the house – by introducing her to their 4-year-old “son.”
Dwyer also teases her “other man,” “Duane,” but her heart belongs to Bobby Lee always.
And ours belongs to her. In a lightning-quick two hours, she’s half of Dawn to Rory Pierce’s Tony Orlando; she’s an uproarious Mama Cass in a fat suit; she’s Cher; and she closes with Tina Turner’s “River Deep, Mountain High.” By the pandemonic encore, “Shout,” she and her castmates have this mostly older crowd twisting like teens.
Dwyer has had plenty of support, on stage and off. Mullin’s Tiny Tim, Rod Stewart, Paul McCartney and Tom Jones. Pierce’s Neil Diamond and Jimmy Buffett (the hand’s-down hit of the night). Alex Crawford’s Billy Preston and Sammy Davis Jr. Even the Spice Girls lend a hand (and that’s all I have to say about that).
There’s a reason more than 150,000 have attended the “Loud” series, which already has been extended into October. Ask anyone – Duane, Bobby Lee, the son she didn’t know she had – and they’ll tell you this show belongs to Dwyer.
Afterward, Dwyer and friends greet departing guests, but their work isn’t done. Everyone helps clean the house – Dwyer also runs the children’s theater that will perform “The Little Mermaid” in just 12 hours. The eye patch is back.
People ask if critics play favorites. Play them? Never. Have them? Absolutely. Just like anyone else. Consistent excellence earns that right.
But Dwyer is on the clock, and she knows it. Against doctor’s orders, she’s not slowing down until her body breaks down. My kind of broad.
Theater critic John Moore can be reached at 303-954-1056 or jmoore@denverpost.com.
“Too Old to Be Loud”
POP-MUSIC REVUE | Heritage Square Music Hall, 18301 W. Colfax Ave., Golden | Written and directed by T.J. Mullin and Annie Dwyer | Starring Mullin, Dwyer, Rory Pierce, Alex Crawford, Kira Cauthorn and Randy Johnson | THROUGH OCT. 14 | 7 p.m. Wednesdays-Thursdays; 8 p.m. Fridays-Saturdays; 2 p.m. Sundays (dinner 90 minutes before) | 2 hours | $23.50-$36.50 | 303-279-7800 or
