You’ll know television’s mania for lists has gotten completely out of hand when C-SPAN counts down the 100 greatest Senate filibusters.
Maybe that moment is closer than we think. Lists have become such a popular television format that even The Weather Channel offered the “100 Biggest Weather Moments” this spring. Can “50 Toughest Conference Committee Leaders” really be far behind? List programs are the potato chips of programming: snack food for the mind that tastes good, has virtually no nutritional value and is impossible to resist.
No one can watch, or produce, just one.
“People just have an insatiable appetite for putting things into categories and ranking them,” said Bernie Kaminski, supervising producer at VH1. “People will debate about the greatest anything, from who was the greatest basketball player to who makes the greatest cheeseburger.”
Lists have been a reliable staple for magazines and other publications for years, but it wasn’t until VH1 polled musicians a decade ago to come up with the “100 Greatest Artists of Rock ‘n’ Roll” that things really took off on TV.
Subsequent VH1 lists haven’t exactly shot for cosmic importance in the same way (“40 Most Shocking Hair Moments,” “40 Least Hip-hop Moments”). Its recent “40 Most
Softsational Soft-Rock Songs,” topped by Christopher Cross’ “Sailing,” sounded like a playlist on the radio station from hell.
But they pay the bills.
We came up with our own list of the “5 Biggest Reasons TV Lists Are Hot! Hot! Hot!”
5. Surfability. Perhaps no TV format is better designed for the 100-channel universe, when you point the remote control and hope something catches your eye.
Who needs to turn on a brain to watch “101 Juiciest Hollywood Hook-Ups” or “50 Shocking Confessions” on E! Entertainment? “They’re very digestible shows, if you’re into short-attention-span-theater type mode and you don’t want to make a big commitment,” said Debby Beece, Oxygen programming chief, which premiered “The 50 Funniest Women Alive” special in June.
4. Storytelling. The best list specials tell us things we didn’t know, even if it’s not particularly groundbreaking. The “100 Biggest Weather Moments,” for example, told how air conditioning and windshield wiper blades were invented.
An irreverent spirit also helps. VH1 could provoke debates with a countdown of the 50 greatest rock guitarists. Eric Clapton? Or God? A list of the 50 greatest guitar solos, however, would be a lot more fun.
3. Repeats. Once VH1 annointed Molly Ringwald the greatest teen star, it would stand to reason that no one would want to watch the list again. Not so. E! has shown “101 Biggest Celebrity Oops!” 52 times, at last count.
2. Cheap Stuff. It doesn’t cost much to pull tape and line up a few comics or industry sages to riff on camera about memorable moments. Many lists are just concocted by network employees gathering in a back room and tossing ideas around.
VH1’s Kaminski still remembers the fierce argument over whether “Macarena” or Soft Cell’s “Tainted Love” should be considered the greater one-hit wonder. (He argued for “Macarena” and won.)
1. Ratings. Duh! Why is anything done on television? People watch.
