“Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t the drafting of players and the farm system, along with making trades, the primary responsibility of a baseball general manager? If so, give the Rockies credit where credit is due and lay the blame where the blame belongs. What happens on the field ultimately rests with manager Clint Hurdle. How many games at the all-star break have been lost because of him? Somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 to 15 that I can count.”
Pat, Lamar
Kiz: Contrary to what many of you keeping score at home might think, managing a baseball team is more about the care and handling of 25 personalities in the clubhouse than what the skipper does in the seventh inning of a 3-2 game. Baseball instinct is becoming extinct. Game strategy has become such by-the-book number- crunching that you could purchase a $999 personal computer and sit it in the dugout to make pitching changes.
Time to go shopping
“I read about your displeasure with the job Dan O’Dowd has done over his career as GM. What deal would you make this season that would make the Rockies more of a contender than they already are? I realize you don’t view them as a contender at this time, so what would you do to make this a better team? Please don’t go back in time, as we can’t do that.”
John, Sacramento
Kiz: For now, if I’m making the calls for the Rockies, I pound the phone line and sweet talk the White Sox, who are itching to make changes, then offer ’em a trade for sinkerball pitcher Jon Garland until they tell me “no” 100 times. And if I’m the owner of your lovable losing operation down in LoDo, either I spend the money to sign Matt Holliday to a long-term deal, or I sell the team and count my profits on a yacht in the Virgin Islands.
Summer of discontent
“I have season tickets to the Rockies and Broncos. I’ve given away most of my Rockies tickets. However, you’d have to pry my Broncos tickets from my cold, dead hands. Unless the Rockies get rid of the village idiots (O’Dowd and Hurdle), it won’t be long until the Broncos again easily take all the attention from baseball as a rite of late summer.”
Richard, Lakewood
Kiz: So long as the baseball brain trust regards mediocrity as a big achievement, the highlight of our summer vacation will continue to be parking the lawn mower in the garage, tossing those silly Pet Rocks on the shelf and going to camp with the Broncos.
Heady drinking song
“I have no idea what Kiz was drinking when he thought he heard the Hamm’s beer song, but, assuming he’s sober now, here are the correct lyrics: ‘From the land of sky-blue waters, from the land of pines, lofty balsams, comes the beer refreshing, Hamm’s the beer refreshing.”‘
Don, music aficionado
Kiz: To celebrate memorizing the Hamm’s beer song at age 6, I chugged a tall, frosty glass of milk spiked with yummy Nestlé Quik. To this day, I remember all the verses from the best commercial jingle of all time, not just the opening lines that you quote, my music-loving friend. Every kid in my first-grade class loved the cartoons of Hamm’s dancing bear. We thought he was a finer actor than Barney Rubble.
Parting shot
And today’s parting shot is proof some guys feel slighted now that Venus Williams, the female tennis champion at Wimbledon, earns the same prize money as Roger Federer, her male counterpart.
“If the ladies want the same pay as men, then they should at least play best of five sets. This is only fair. The bottom line is that however good the women are, they would be pulverized by male tour players, so why should they get the same pay?”
Brian, Montrose
