Let me air my dirty laundry:
When I’m in the laundry room, my intuitive family has figured out that they’d better be any place but. Anyone who walks in while I’m doing this dirty job is likely to hear a rant about how I didn’t go to college and learn about Shakespeare and the Krebs cycle so I could stand in a room muggier than Kansas in August, fold other people’s underwear and match socks.
I don’t do this graciously, or well. Just ask my husband, Dan, who had to wear pink athletic socks for three weeks until the bleach kicked in. But I do the laundry because I’m the most qualified person in my household to do it, which isn’t saying much.
Unlike those far more together wives and mothers who do a load a day, and stay on top of this household chore, I wait till it’s an emergency. I don’t just wait until everyone is out of undies, and the towels have gangrene. I wait until every wearable garment is in the hamper, and Dan and the kids have taken to wrapping themselves in bed sheets toga-style, a fashion trend inspired by enlightened Greek women who got sick and tired of washing clothes in the river among the reeds. I totally get that.
When I finally do take the laundry seriously, I stand at the bottom of the stairs and yell like a fishwife: “If you want clean clothes git your laundry down here in the next three minutes!”
My husband and daughters hustle their overflowing baskets down the stairs, followed by the dogs who think it’s Christmas for all the excitement. The ensuing stampede sounds like a cross between a football drill and charging rhinos. Dan, who most appreciates the value of clean briefs, leads the charge. Then I sort clothes into a small mountain range: peaks of whites, lights, darks and delicates, and start the IQ-lowering process of wash, dry, fold and sort again into baskets by owner. I don’t do this with June Cleaver cheeriness. And I’ll never be one of those women who smile as they pour Tide in the tank and rave over its stain-lifting properties.
Here’s the good news. Because I realize that this task won’t go away until I’m in a nursing home and someone is doing my sheets, I appealed to my handy husband for a laundry room makeover. If I’m going to be miserable, at least let me be miserable in a nice place.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist living in the Denver area. Contact her through.
Lightening the laundry load
Several weeks ago, Dan, sick of my whining, started the mud/laundry room makeover. He put in wainscoting, painted the walls and added storage. I called a real housework pro to be sure I’d wind up with the best laundry room I could and to learn ways to lighten my laundry load. Cynthia Townley Ewer is the author of “House Works,” (DK Publishing, 2006) and CEO of. These are her down-and-dirty laundry room tips.
Laundry room musts
Ample shelving for detergent and laundry products. (I like cupboards so the place can look clutter-free.) If space is a premium, consider storage units designed to slip between washers and dryers.
Lots of clean counter space for folding and sorting clothes.
A large sink for hand-washing unmentionables, fishing gear or the dog.
A hanging rack for freshly pressed items and a drying rack.
Room for an ironing board near an outlet, and a handy place to store it when not in use. For a tight space, some ironing boards wall-mount and fold away.
Excellent lighting.
A person to do the work for you!
Streamlining laundry duty
Give a different color laundry basket to every family member.
Sort laundry into white, light, bright and dark to avoid dye transfer. Also separate items that create lint – sweat shirts, towels, flannels and the like.
As you load the washer, look for stains to treat, check pockets (for lip gloss, gum, felt pens, paychecks), close zippers and remove belts. (Or you, too, can pick glommed-in chewing gum off your favorite shirt.)
When loading the dryer, give garments a good shake so they get a head start on being wrinkle-free.
Fold them while they’re hot. The last bit of dryer heat will help smooth out wrinkles.
Save energy by using cold water, washing only full loads, cycling down to shorter cycles such as permanent press and delicate, and hang clothes to dry more often.
