Dear Amy: I’m a middle-aged, happily married woman with children. As a child, a prominent community member molested me. As an 11-year-old, I was terrified and deeply ashamed. I told no one. While in college, I returned home during the summer and saw this man at a local pool swimming with a young girl. I was terrified but did nothing.
Several years later, I learned that he was arrested for molesting girls (mainly at swimming pools, though this wasn’t the case with me). I cannot tell you the years of struggle, self-abuse and guilt that I endured because I did nothing when I saw him with children.
Recently, I did an Internet search and found that he moved to another city in my state and is the president of an organization that works with many children’s events. His arrest was many years before sex-offender laws and registration, and I am deeply concerned that his position gives him the ability to harm other children.
Predators don’t change. They believe that what they do is harmless.
I don’t want another child to know the destruction that abuse can cause. I am certain that this organization and community don’t know of his past. What should I do? –
Need Direction
Dear Need: It’s OK to tell. Though I think that “closure” is an elusive state, doing this will help you to close the circle, and – more important – possibly protect other children.
I completely agree with you that sexual predators are in a special category of offender. They have a high rate of recidivism.
This is a serious situation, best handled with professional help and support. If you aren’t already working with a therapist you trust, call the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network hotline at 800-656-HOPE (4673) for counsel and advice.
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Dear Amy: I am writing in response to “Animal Lover,” who found a dog trapped in a hot car. My dog died this way. She jumped into the open car door of a friend of mine and was accidentally locked in.
I spent many anguished nights thinking of how she suffered before she passed away. I have seen other dogs trapped in cars like this, and I always call animal control. I remember the time they came to the rescue of a beautiful greyhound I found in a black car with no windows down. They broke the window and rescued the dog. I urge anyone who finds a dog like this to do the same. Animals cannot defend themselves. – Emily
Dear EmilyMany animal lovers responded to the plight of pets left in hot cars. Animals should not be left unattended in cars for any length of time.
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