Commerce City
This was the biggest bang thing to happen in Commerce City since … since … well, since the beginning of the world.
The MLS all-stars defeated Celtic FC in a blowout 2-0 on Thursday night, and David Beckham His Very Own Self was in C.C., and life and the weather were beautiful, and everything.
“Being here,” MLS commissioner Don Garber said during the second half, “was even better than we expected,” which is not a quote you often hear from someone who is visiting Commerce City. Hey, I love the C.C. riders – “There’s no ‘I’ in Commerce and no ‘me’ in City” – but there were several of the visiting media from Scotland and England and The Continent sort of ripping Our Dusty Old Cowtown Suburb before Thursday night’s game. They must not like Mexican cuisine and mountains.
But the Scots’ all-time winningest team got kicked in Commerce City. The MLS stars built an insurmountable 1-0 lead in the 36th minute and cruised to another goal seven minutes later, then an easy victory.
Haggis that!
Even Celtic had to admit the MLS stars were fine, because that “which cannot be helped must be put up with.”
If keeper Arthur Boruc hadn’t stopped a couple of other dead-on MLS attempts – one with his forehead (that’s a real header) – this would have been declared no-contest at intermission, when Beckham made a brief appearance and wowed the crowd of 18,661.
“He has been so humble and so willing to help, and that’s been a bonus that, frankly, we didn’t know about him,” Garber said.
A sporting columnist in an English newspaper has just referred to Beckham’s new club, the Los Angeles Galaxy, as nothing more than “a Sunday morning pub side.”
Them’s fighting words. The MLS is not, either, a collection of fish ‘n chips bunches. It’s Double-A ball.
When I told Garber that his was dismissed as a pub-club league for second-class players and washed-up Beckhams, I was hoping he’d say something about Britain not be so Great.
“You have to remember that Celtic (FC) started playing in the 1800s, and we’re in our 12th year.”
Yeah. Tell ’em, Don.
And our NBA teams can beat all your basketball teams put together.
It is time to pause and admit that the game Thursday night was sort of like the Broncos, after eight games of the regular season, playing the Indianapolis Colts the day after they show up for training camp. Not exactly like, but you get the point. Celtic FC finished their (41st) Scottish Premier League championship months ago, and the team is only now getting ready for next season and playing a lot of young guys who won’t make the roster.
(Think first NFL exhibition, second half of game.)
And the MLS all-stars are halfway through their season.
“Plus, factor in altitude and the time difference, and we do have an advantage,” the commish said.
And all those fast-food places in Commerce City tempting the Scottish team.
So, this was supposed to be a “friendly.”
It looked a bit unfriendly in the first 45 minutes.
The Scots needed William Wallace, Rob Roy and Sean Connery.
The Americans had Juan Pablo Angel, Juan Toja and Jonathan (Juan?) Bornstein.
And there was Beckham chatting up to new friends in the box and talking to ESPN at halftime and handing out a trophy and doing and saying all the right things. The Beckham-less all-stars were doing all the right things, with eights shots on goal, to only two for Celtic, and the locals were twice as tough in fouls, 14-7. The Americans(?) were the aggressors against the gasping-for-lowland-air Scots.
The MLS is 4-0 in these international-affair All-Star Games, and the league will keep inviting those teams as long as they’re willing to come over during their offseason and get thrashed.
And Commerce City can be quite proud of its first All-Star Game. There were no problems, except for lightning that held up the start of the game 10 minutes, and it wasn’t C.C.’s fault. The city was spit-shined, and the nearby (gigantic) truck stop had a special on corn dogs and chocolate milk. What a night. What a game. What a Beckham. What an MLS. What a way for a pub team to make the other team crawl. What a Commerce City.
Staff writer Woody Paige can be reached at 303-954-1095 or wpaige@denverpost.com.
