Dear Amy: After enjoying the company of a neighbor’s cat and coming to my house to feed my cat when we are on vacation, my 80-year-old parents have decided they should adopt a kitten from the Humane Society.
They have never owned a cat, and they had to give away their last pet, a golden retriever, about 30 years ago because they couldn’t handle him.
I can understand my parents’ desire for pet companionship, but I am worried that they are basing the adoption on emotion and are not considering the responsibilities involved.
Given that a cat can live for as long as 20 years, the cat could easily outlive my parents, and neither my brother nor I would wish to have the cat if something should happen to my parents.
I intend to gather cat-care books and present my experiences with feline ownership to my parents, but I would appreciate your opinion or suggestions.
– Concerned Daughter
Dear Daughter: As a pet owner yourself, surely you can understand your parents’ desire to bring a pet into their lives. You could influence their choice by getting involved in the process, not to talk them out of it but to make sure they make an informed decision.
If your parents decide to go ahead, please urge them to adopt an adult cat. With an adult cat, your folks can choose a mature pal whose temperament and habits are well-established and matched to their lifestyle. Kittens are adorable but can be a handful.
Your local shelter should match the animal to the owner, helping your folks make a decision and vetting them for their suitability.
I had great luck adopting a 5-year-old cat from my local shelter last year.
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Dear Amy: There is a man at my office who has lots of friends that he likes to hang out with. He always seemed happy. Lately he has been acting strangely. I no longer see him with his friends. He barely talks. He looks sad and lonely. I don’t know what happened.
I’m not really friends with this man. I can talk to him comfortably, but we don’t normally spend time together. I can’t help feeling concerned for him.
I want to talk to him, but then I think, “Does he want me to get into his business? Would he be angry and think that I’m bothering him? Is it the right thing to do?” I don’t want him to think that I’m nosy. I just want to be able to help him if he needs it. Should I even bother? What would I say?
– Concerned
Dear Concerned: Showing interest in someone doesn’t make you nosy.
You could ask an open-ended question and give your co-worker an opportunity to open up to you. You can say, “I haven’t talked to you in a while. How are things?” If he says, “I’m fine,” you can respond by saying, “Oh, that’s good. You don’t seem quite yourself lately, and I wanted to ask if everything is OK.”
You or he can change the subject if things get uncomfortable, but at least you’ve cracked open the conversational door.
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