Dear Amy: I have been with my boyfriend for two years. I love, respect and could see myself marrying him. He’s planning on applying to law school next year, and I want to pursue a Ph.D. I’m afraid that we’ll end up in different towns. We’ve done the long-distance thing; neither of us wants that.
He asked me if I’d go with him to school, and I responded by asking if he’d follow me. He got mad that I answered him in this way.
We seem to be in a stalemate. I feel that he thinks his education and future are more important than mine and expects me to follow him. How can we talk about this without us becoming frustrated and mad?
– In Love and an Impasse
Dear In Love: When your guy asked if you’d follow him to law school, he might really have been asking you if you saw yourself in his long-term future. How would this conversation have gone if you had responded, “I’d follow you anywhere, honey. Would you follow me too?”
Try saying, “When you think about law school, where do you see yourself, ideally? If I went there with you, how do you see that working?” You could research universities that have programs acceptable to both of you.
…
Dear Amy: In regard to your recent columns on “tough broads,” let me tell you about my mother, whose granddaughter referred to her as a “tough old broad” with affection.
My mother loved it, and tough she was! As a child, she was forced to quit school and went to work at age 13.
My parents married during the Depression and survived that and World War II. Mom worked until she was in her 70s, surviving two bouts with cancer. At age 80, she went back to school and earned her high school diploma. Through everything, she always had a beautiful smile.
Mom died at 87. A tough old broad? You bet! And an inspiration.
– Proud Daughter
Dear Proud: Wow. I am
really enjoying hearing about the “tough old broads” in our lives. I’d welcome hearing about “tough old dudes” too.
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