Dear Amy: My husband and I are in the process of securing a loan for a new house and are disagreeing on a sensitive issue. My husband works in the same office building as our loan officer and shares an office with several employees. Our loan officer dropped off our application at my husband’s office, and my husband forgot to bring the papers home.
My personal information – including my salary, three credit scores, address, assets and liabilities – is listed on these papers, and he doesn’t understand why I got so upset when he left them in his office. Our tax returns were also stored in his office in an unsecured file cabinet. I quickly brought them home when I found out.
His door is locked, but several people, including his employees and the cleaning crew, have access. How can I convey that my financial story should be kept private?
– Protective in Portland
Dear Protective: In 2005, identity theft cost U.S. businesses and consumers an estimated $56.6 billion. With your loan application and tax records, anyone would have ample information to take over your financial identity – opening credit cards and getting loans in your name, ruining your credit and basically turning your life upside down.
The Federal Trade Commission has published some very helpful pamphlets outlining how you can protect your identity and identify if it has been stolen. Recommendations include receiving and reviewing your credit reports at least once a year, reviewing your credit card statements carefully for any unfamiliar charges, and – of course – keeping important records secure. For information, check (search “identity theft”).
I agree with you that your husband has been too lax with your financial records. For punishment, sit down with him in front of your home computer and force him to take an online quiz and play an educational game on the FTC’s website, which, though somewhat lame, managed to both instruct and scare me into being more careful (onguardonline.gov/idtheft).
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Dear Amy: I was having lunch with a friend. Two young women dined in the booth behind us. One of them was loudly saying that her office manager is having an affair with the doctor in the office where she works.
Amy, this physician is well respected in our community and a very kind man. I doubt that he is fooling around.
Now my conscience is driving me crazy knowing this, because her friend replied back, “Well, Liza, you know what you need to do; you need to hold it over the office manager’s head and maybe she’ll quit. You’ve always wanted her job.”
My friend and I were shocked that they’d talk about this in a public place where others could not help but overhear them.
Should I give the office a call and give the office manager a heads up, or should I stay out of it? Office gossip is harmful, and this is definitely defamatory.
I don’t know what to do.
– Concerned in Modesto
Dear Concerned: What if these two women were lying, fooling around or deliberately “messing” with you because they were aware that you were listening to them? What if they were rehearsing a one-act play or repeating the plot of a “Lifetime” movie? Even if these two ninnies were talking about a real-life scenario, they wouldn’t have any leverage to hold against the office manager if they hatched their evil plan because, according to you, it can’t possibly be true.
Regardless of their intent, the correct response to gossip is to ignore it, not repeat it.
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