Dear Amy: I am a 14-year-old girl in eighth grade.
My life is pretty good; I have great friends, loving parents and a fantastic brother. I live in a great town and go to an amazing school.
Recently I’ve become interested in boys, and I’ve had a couple of boyfriends, but now I’m head-over-heels for a boy in my class. We’re pretty good friends, and he knows I like him, but I’m going crazy because he doesn’t like me as much as I like him.
I’ve tried to impress him and talk to him as much as possible, and sometimes it seems as if he’s flirting with me, but he told me he likes someone else.
I’m dying to be with him, but he looks the other way. He also insults me sometimes because I’m not a size zero (this doesn’t bother me at all); I’m also not very good at some sports. Sometimes I can still hear the insults ringing in my ears.
I’ve talked to him about this on numerous occasions, and he can be really sweet, but then he just goes back to insulting me.
– Head Over Heels
Dear Heels: If you’re not careful now – at the beginning of what I hope will be your lifelong relationship with the opposite sex – then you could set yourself up for a pattern of behavior that will make your future romantic life very difficult.
You seem to have “lost yourself” in the idea of this relationship, and though you may tell yourself that this is what romance really is, this couldn’t be further from the truth. A true romance is one not where you lose yourself, but where you find yourself.
Not only should you not like a guy who would be disrespectful to you – you shouldn’t even tolerate it.
Dear Amy : Both my husband and I have family in the area where we live, so we have to split time going between the two families for major holidays
– Thanksgiving and Christmas.
This year we thought we’d host Thanksgiving. We can invite both families to our house and not have to split our time between them.
I’d like to make this a tradition because I cringe every time I go to my father’s house.
My husband is allergic to cats, and they have two of them and don’t vacuum the furniture as often as they should. Other things are dirty too – the toilets look as if they haven’t been cleaned in months, and the drinking water is cloudy.
I have a toddler who likes to explore, so it makes it a chore to go over there.
My house is not spotless, but I have standards.
How do I tell my father and stepmother that I don’t wish to spend time over there with their house in the condition it is in? I’ve tried to buy them a housecleaning service, and they balked at it – saying that you have to clean up before they come over.
– Not Martha Stewart
Dear Not Martha: You don’t have to announce that you’re starting a tradition – you just have to start it. If things go well for everyone this year, there’s a good chance that they’ll want to repeat the experience next year.
If your dad and his wife don’t feel compelled to keep a decently clean house, and if you don’t think they’re open to doing things differently, you can put off visits by saying that it would be best if you entertained at your house where it’s not too “chaotic,” where you can keep a close eye on your toddler and where your husband’s allergies won’t kick in.
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