“What’s that static?” I asked as I walked into my teenage daughter’s room.
“The lampshades rotting,” she said, as if that were normal.
I looked at the two bedside lamps. The shades were torn and hanging in strips, like the sails on a pirate ship. The fabric was actually sizzling.
“What kind of bulb do you have in there?”
I peered under one of the shades, blinding myself. I quickly turned off both lamps, mainly because I prefer to be in the dark about problems, especially ones that make me look domestically negligent. In the dark, I looked for my daughter, but all I could see were two purple dots where my vision used to be.
“I didn’t wreck them, if that’s what you’re getting at. I turn the lamps on. I turn them off. The shades can’t hack it.” I knew the shades were getting old but didn’t expect audible decomposition.
I sighed and added one more task to my to-do list. Getting new lampshades ranks up there in excitement with changing the air-vent filters. My first instinct was to track down two new shades like the old ones. Then I recalled a woman who ran a lampshade store saying years ago: “All day customers come in with their old shades and leave with a new one just like it. They miss their chance for transformation.”
Rats! I couldn’t miss that. I hate when I remember stuff that makes life inconvenient – like how fast food is bad for you. Soon, the simple lamp task turned into a small career, which is just so typical.
The trek for The Right New Lampshade took me to three lamp stores, then to Lili Marlene, a custom lampshade store in Denver. Owner Linda Grove, who’s been making custom shades for 22 years, stood at the counter. Behind her, stacks of undressed wire lampshade forms teetered toward the 30-foot ceiling like rickety Eiffel Towers. All around were racks of fabric choices, trims and dozens of custom shades under plastic ready to ship. Of course, I snooped under the wraps. The fancy shades looked like Kentucky Derby hats, all colors, patterns and shapes with fabulous trims and details. Whenever I see talent like this, I feel as if any ounce of imagination I ever had has just run out my big toe.
“Do you have any basic white?” I asked.
Because my lamp bases were ornate (red with cloisonné patterns of birds and flowers), we agreed the shade should be simple. We picked a pearly white, the same color as the decrepit shade, then found a bell-shaped form that would update the lamps. The estimate: $160 each. Gulp. What if I just re-covered my existing shade forms? $120 per.
“I need to think about this,” I said, looking around for those paramedic chest paddles.
From there, I went to Lamps Plus, tried out several ivory- colored shades, and bought two for $40 each. The lamps have a new look, and don’t sizzle when you turn them on.
But here’s what I learned at Lili Marlene: You can do a lot to glam up a lampshade, a great move for the right lamp in the right room. But not every lampshade has to be a statement. Sometimes a lampshade is just a lampshade.
Marni Jameson is a nationally syndicated columnist who lives in the Denver area. You may contact her through .
Shady activities
As so often happens in decorating, a choice that seems easy isn’t. Here’s a lampshade primer from Linda Grove, owner of the Denver custom lampshade store Lili Marlene.
Bring the lamp shopping with you. That way you can try on several styles to see what else works.
Trust your eye. Whether you realize it or not, you’ve seen a lot of correct lampshades in your day, so you will often just know if a shade is right. The right shade should neither dwarf the lamp nor look too small.
Consider the base. If it’s ornate, choose a plain shade. If it’s plain, you may get more adventuresome. Round bases take round shades. Square bases take square shades. If a lamp has a square platform and a round center, a square shade looks nice. Lamps with two or more sockets may require an oval shade.
Choose the mood. Whether a room is formal, casual or whimsical will affect your fabric choice. Silk shades are formal. Linen can go anywhere. Parchment and burlap shades work well in casual or rustic settings. In bedrooms, consider shades with other fabrics in the room.
Select color. Most lampshades are white or cream because they pass the most light. Colored shades will tint the light, and dark shades force the light up and down, which can be dramatic. And no, all the lampshades in one room don’t have to match.
Size it right. A shade should not be taller than its base. Ideally it should be two-thirds to three-fourths the height of the base. Insider’s tip: A shade can make a small lamp look larger, or a large lamp look smaller.
Adjust the height. Don’t rule out a shade because it sits too low or high on the lamp. You can get a longer or shorter harp (the oval piece that surrounds the bulb and supports the shade). When the shade is at eye level, you shouldn’t see the socket’s underpinnings.
