Parker native and New York transplant Gary Culig is back home for the (grumpy) holidays for his ninth consecutive year staging of David Sedaris’ one-man play “The SantaLand Diaries.”
The comic monologue, adapted from Sedaris’ wickedly funny short story, recounts the National Public Radio essayist’s experience working as an elf in a Macy’s holiday display.
What Sedaris saw there wasn’t pretty. Nor was it a flattering commentary on skewed parental behavior. But the more skewed the behavior, the funnier it is for us. Are we a nation that has lost the true meaning of Christmas? Is standing in line for two hours to force a screaming child — who would rather be anywhere else — onto Santa’s lap a clue that maybe we are wasting our lives?
Says David in the play: “There’s something about standing in any line for two hours that makes you feel like we’re not living in a democratic nation.”
David’s stage name? It’s Crumpet. Don’t make fun. You don’t want to mess with a cranky Crumpet, especially when he’s standing anywhere near the Vomit Corner. Just sayin’.
John Moore: So, Gary, every year I tune into the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day parade for one reason — to see if you are going to wreak some kind of havoc on Times Square — only to be repeatedly disappointed. What gives?
Gary Culig: I went to the parade for the first time this year and you know what? It was fun. But I actually missed watching it on TV because of the commentary. I actually like knowing which balloon is the oldest, and how long they are. When you are watching on the street, you don’t get any of that. The floats all seemed to be of the same size and of indiscriminate ages.
Moore: So why do you suppose we thought of you when we decided to do a holiday piece on “Christmas Curmudgeons?”
Culig: I think because “SantaLand Diaries” is the antidote to “A Christmas Carol,” in a way. Actually, I think you coined that term.
Moore: Well, I’m nothing if not a term-coiner.
Culig: It is a satirical and cynical and sarcastic look at the craziness of the Christmas season. People have come to expect that from Sedaris, and he delivers it in the piece. However, it’s not all curmudgeonly.
Moore: How did all of this start?
Culig: David (Sedaris) only took the job as a dare from his roommate. They were probably stoned when they were talking about how hysterical it was that this job even exists. But then he realizes he actually has no money, and so quickly the game becomes real.
Moore: How would the character of David summarize the Christmas season, with all its excess and crass commercialism – as the play begins?
Culig: That’s what Christmas is about now. I’m not making a comment on Christianity when I say that, but people fully embrace that idea now. Christmas is about excess and gifts and money and doing all kinds of crazy things with your family that you don’t even enjoy doing – like going to the mall and seeing Santa. You see these poor kids who are crying and kicking and screaming, and at the same time, they are being told to pretend to be happy.
Moore: So you’ve done this play nine years in a row. Seriously, Gary: Nine times? How do you keep doing it?
Culig: Well, now that I don’t live in Denver anymore, it’s a great excuse to come home and have an extended visit with my family and friends. And there are still parts that make me laugh out loud when I’m reading it on the subway.
Moore: So how do you think David would summarize his feelings about Christmas – by the end of the piece?
Culig: He still knows it’s a chaotic, crazy time of year and that people may be focused on the wrong things. But when it comes down to it, but, to be corny, once the craziness subsides, it is a magical time of year. And everybody can identify with that.
Moore: How do you differ from the character you play in that regard?
Culig: Christmas actually is one of my favorite times of year, and I have never lost sight of that. When you are sitting down at Christmas dinner and you are surrounded by your family and friends, that makes all the chaos that is the holiday season worth it. I can be just as sarcastic and cynical as David is, but I think in the end, I have a warmer heart.
Three separate productions of “The SantaLand Diaries”
Denver: Bug Theatre, starring Gary Culig: Opens Thursday at 8 p.m. and Wednesdays through Saturdays, with 2 p.m. matinees on Sundays before the closing performance on Dec. 26. Tickets: $20 to $26. Bug Theatre, 3654 Navajo St., Denver, 303-477-9984 or
Colorado Springs: TheatreWorks, starring Kelly Walters: 7:30 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays, 4 p.m. Sundays, until Dec. 23. Tickets: $12-$22. Bon Vivant Theater, 3955 Cragwood Drive, Colorado Springs, 719-262-3232 or
Winter Park: Grand Theatre, starring Aaron Rustabakke: 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, and Dec. 15, 19, 21, 23, 27 and 29. Tickets: $12-$17. Grand Theatre, 78415 Park Place, Winter Park, 970-726-5048 or
