Dear Amy: As we enter another season of giving, I realize a familiar frustration in my heart.
My family is middle class: We own our home, have two cars, two incomes and two children. We’ve never needed to ask for assistance.
My problem is this: In the past, I’ve always had a soft heart when it came to charitable giving. If I saw someone in need and had the ability to give time, energy or financial assistance, I would always do so without question. Over the years, however, I’ve grown to be a “hesitant giver.”
The same individuals stand on street corners every day in our city panhandling with cardboard signs. I know individuals who have abused the efforts of charities, churches and the welfare system. I see families having far more children than they can afford. Our neighbors, pregnant with their 10th child, will have a plethora of grants and financial aid available to them. They are, in my view, being rewarded for not having any foresight.
How (and where?) do I give when too often I believe people simply live the consequences of their poor choices? — Middle-class Maggie
Dear Maggie: Speaking as someone who was the beneficiary of subsidized programs, heating assistance, educational grants and other “charity” as a young person, I take exception to your reasoning and conclusion, though I understand your frustration.
You’ve been hard-working and fortunate, but even if you choose to think that poverty is a result of poor life choices, I venture that needy people shouldn’t have to prove to you that they are deserving.
Giving to panhandlers or scam artists is probably a very poor investment. But giving to a food bank or to the Salvation Army is not. Families displaced by natural disasters, illness and plain bad luck can see their lives turned around by the right kind of support.
For every needs-based grant dollar, there is another merit- based scholarship.
The idea behind charitable giving is to try to lift up the life of someone else. One of my favorite Internet sites is . You can research areas of your own interest and find a charity or foundation that does work in that area.
Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.
