Dear Abby: I am a stay-at-home mom with two little girls.
My problem is that my father-in-law insists on visiting us when his son, my husband, is at work. I find it weird and imposing. I have already voiced my discomfort to my husband. He tells me I am being ridiculous and selfish.
My father-in-law also shows up at my part-time job unannounced to “visit” me. Am I being ridiculous? — Invaded
Dear Invaded: Could your father-in-law be bored, lonely or physically attracted to you? Wanting to spend time with the grandchildren is understandable, but visiting you at your job sends another message. At the very least, assuming he can drop by anytime is presumptuous.
If you are uncomfortable alone with him, listen to your gut and refuse to have him over unless your husband is at home.
Dear Abby: My 3-year-old son, “Jared,” died of cancer a year ago last August. This may sound bad, but now that Jared is gone I can’t wait to die.
I would never kill myself because if I did, I wouldn’t go to heaven. I’m not formally religious, but I know that heaven is where Jared is, and I badly want to reunite with him.
Before I was 21, I did a lot of bad things. I am now 28, and I deeply regret them. I stole money from family members. I also took things from stores and drank a lot. (I still drink.) I also did drugs and lied. (Sometimes I still do.)
What can I do to make sure that when I die I’ll be with my beautiful boy? — Unsure Where I’ll End Up
Dear Unsure: Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your little boy. I know you are in pain, and while you say you are not formally religious, your faith is what is getting you through this.
There is much you can do to improve your future. Cut out the drinking, drugging and lying, and find a way to constructively contribute to this life.
I urge you to discuss your concerns with a clergyperson who can offer you guidance. You can also find comfort in talking with other parents who have lost children. A group I have mentioned in my column recently is The Compassionate Friends. There are hundreds of chapters, and its website (compassionate ) can refer you to local meetings.
Write Dear Abby at DearAbby or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
