Two months after being named in the Mitchell report, reliever Matt Herges admitted Wednesday to using performance-enhancing drugs, but insisted he never took them while with the Rockies last season.
“I know that it’s going to be tough for (fans) to believe, because it was pretty much the best year of my career. They are going to have to take my word, I am coming clean 100 percent,” Herges said in a phone interview. “I can just tell you I wasn’t using when employed by the Rockies. Whether it was spring training, at (Triple-A) Colorado Springs or with the (big-league team).”
Herges, 37, resurrected his career, going 5-1 with a 2.96 ERA in 35 games after being called up from AAA. He played a key role in the Rockies’ historic run to the World Series.
After the Mitchell report was released Dec. 13, Rockies general manager Dan O’Dowd said he asked Herges directly if he used performance-enhancing drugs last year, the reliever’s only season with the club.
“I wouldn’t say I was concerned, but I certainly needed to find out,” O’Dowd said. “I’m convinced he was not using anything when he pitched for us.”
The Rockies re-signed Herges as a free agent to a one-year, $2.25 million deal, agreeing in principle to a contract just days before he was named in the report.
Herges spoke publicly for the first time Wednesday about his illegal drug use after releasing a statement through team officials. He said he was ashamed of his behavior. However, he would not address specific allegations in the report or discuss when he stopped taking performance-enhancing drugs.
“I was living a double life. I have professed to be a follower of Christ, yet this is what I have done,” Herges said. “I am glad that they found out. I don’t want to make any excuses because there are none. It was the epitome of insecurity. Why would I do this? My insecurities took over.”
To illustrate the depths of what he called his “big secret,” Herges said his wife was unaware of his use until he told her on Dec. 12, the night before the Mitchell report came out.
“I couldn’t sleep for nights leading up to the announcement and slept better than I ever have after telling her,” he said. “You can imagine how difficult that conversation was to have with her and my family. They were all proud of me, then I have to tell them there’s an asterisk there that they didn’t know about. When I was doing it, I justified it in different ways. I have soul-searched, got counsel, and ultimately prayed about it. What I have done is wrong, there’s no way around it.”
According to the Mitchell report, Herges was involved with steroid use in 1999 while with the Los Angeles Dodgers’ Triple-A affiliate and purchased human growth hormone as late as 2005, when he was already an established major-leaguer. Herges said he has never failed an MLB-administered drug test.
Rockies first base coach Glenallen Hill also admitted Wednesday for the first time to having used performance-enhancing drugs near the end of his big-league career. Hill was included in the Mitchell report.
Herges is facing a potential 15-day suspension from commissioner Bud Selig based on the penalties that were in place when his use occurred.
“By coming clean, I realize I am subject to a penalty,” Herges said. “Obviously I don’t want to be suspended. But here’s the way I look at it: I think I am doing the right thing by coming clean, doing the right thing for me, and my convictions and the way I want to live. I want to talk to high- school kids and minor-leaguers, so they don’t make the same mistake I did.”
Herges expressed regret about how he handled the situation, saying in hindsight he should have talked to investigators from Mitchell’s office. No active player named in the report, other than Jason Giambi, accepted Mitchell’s invitation to discuss their presence in the report.
“It was ultimately my decision, nobody said, ‘Don’t do it. Don’t talk.’ To say that nobody else was talking, that’s a total cop-out, that’s a cowardly way of going about it,” Herges said.
Multiple teammates have spoken out in support of Herges. Third baseman Garrett Atkins said Wednesday he has no reservations about Herges returning to the club, and no reason to believe Herges cheated last season.
“He made a bad decision; there’s no doubt about that. He’s always been honest and upfront with me. It never entered my mind that he would have done anything to taint our season,” Atkins said. “He was remorseful, and it’s time for us to move past it as a team.”
Staff writer Patrick Saunders contributed to this report.
Troy E. Renck: 303-954-1301 or trenck@denverpost.com
