Jon Stewart had a tall order: meet the elevated expectations of a comedy-deprived nation, desperate for a good time after the three-month writers’ strike, and do it in a fraction of the preparation time normally allowed.
We craved more than a chuckle, we wanted laugh-out-loud, gut-busting funny and not too “inside” regarding the intricacies of the strike settlement.
We wanted incisive political humor beyond anything he’s delivered on “The Daily Show.”
We wanted the tuxedo version of the cable show, something we could tell ourselves had been worth the suspenseful wait.
Oscar is 80, and we aged at least that many years last night.
Stewart got the job done, eventually, but we won’t be reciting his monologue anytime soon.
Turns out, writers really can’t throw together great Oscar night humor in a mere eight days instead of the usual three months.
Stewart’s jokes about politics weren’t memorable. His line about appreciating the cinematography of “Lawrence of Arabia” on an iPhone felt old. His introductions weren’t as goofy-crazy as host Ellen DeGeneres’ last year.
Slow, painfully slow. It was tedium broken by vapidity.
Only minutes into the proceedings we were asking ourselves, in the closing words of the “Happy Little Working Song” from “Enchanted,” “Oh, wasn’t this fun!?”
Are we close to a big award yet?
Yet more strike jokes: what the Oscars would have looked like without writers, salute to binoculars and periscopes. Filler as seen through glasses!
Or dream sequences, what would the Oscars have looked like without writers, dependent on clips of breathless awakenings? Cue the next montage.
Strike those strike jokes.
OK, the bee montage, introduced by Jerry Seinfeld’s animated bee, was worth some buzz.
Thirty-five minutes in, and we were just getting to the best supporting actress award.
Then, finally, winner Tilda Swinton, in a cutting-edge black something-or-other by someone notable, her close-cropped red hair flaming, gave the night’s first exuberant, articulate and rockin’ acceptance speech — unlike most everything else in a dragging evening, it just screamed 2008. A very cool moment, then more very slow moments followed.
Even pregnant Jessica Alba couldn’t enliven the list of scientific and technical awards.
And Stewart’s joke about more pregnancies to come in the course of the evening went nowhere.
“The compulsories are over,” Stewart said in a throwaway line.
Let’s hope so.
With major production numbers in the wings, we knew were in for a long night.
Joanne Ostrow: 303-954-1830 or jostrow@denverpost.com
