COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.—A plaintive letter asking Jesus “why didn’t you ever answer my cries?” was found in the car of a church gunman after he killed four people and committed suicide, KMGH-TV reported Wednesday.
The unsigned, undated letter is laced with expletives but also asks “Jesus, where are you? Do you even care these days?” the Denver station said.
KMGH said the letter was found in the car of Matthew Murray, 24, on Dec. 9 after he killed two people at a missionary training school in suburban Denver and killed two others at New Life Church in Colorado Springs.
KMGH said it obtained a copy of the letter from someone close to the investigation but did not identify the person. Colorado Springs police later made the letter public.
The 1 1/2-page letter, handwritten on lined paper, sometimes insults God and asks, “Why couldn’t you write your (expletive) book more clearly?”
It asks “What have I done so wrong? What is wrong with me anyways? Am I really such a bad person?”
It calls Christians “miserable, angry, selfish, hypocritical, proud, power hungry, abusive, uncaring, confused, lustful, greedy, unsure of their doctrine and mean-spirited.”
It concludes, “Am I too lost to be saved? My soul cries for deliverance. I’m dieing, praying, bleeding and screaming. Will I be denied???”
Interviews and Murray’s Internet postings depict him as a disturbed young man who was bitter about being an outcast, turned against charismatic Christianity and dabbled in other beliefs.
———
Information from: KMGH-TV,
