Dear Margo: Where to start? I am 30 years old with two kids. I just came out of a long relationship. I had a one-night stand with the brother of one of my old friends. I don’t see them often, but now that I live closer I have been visiting more. I am scared to see him again and of what he may think. I am not sure if I should tell my friend — because I feel so bad about the situation, and also, her brother and I agreed to keep it quiet. It was just a crazy night! I know he thinks I am a floozy and my friend would think the same if she found out. Should I tell her and get it over with, ignore it as though it never happened, or just not call her anymore when I come to town? I can’t imagine what will happen the next time I see either of them. — Mad at Myself
Dear Mad: Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re a 30-year-old single woman who fell into bed with a friend’s brother. I doubt this man thinks you’re a floozy, and I doubt his sister would, if she knew. For heaven’s sake, don’t stop calling her. I suspect from your reaction that you feel you’ve let yourself down, so forgive yourself with the understanding that one-night stands don’t make you feel very good. Call it a lesson learned. All that happened was a slip. And to help you realize that you hardly register on the loose-woman scale, I have two words for you: Paris Hilton. — Margo, forgivingly
Prescription for Trouble
Dear Margo: I have been practicing medicine for a few years now. In school I joked that I was sure everyone would take my prescriptive powers for granted as soon as I graduated. Well, my jest has come true. My sister has decided I am her family’s RX source, along with several friends who say it’s easier to ask me than to pay a co-pay. I pride myself on being an honest person, and I don’t feel I should be asked to do this; people should seek medical advice from their primary care docs. I would fear a deadly adverse reaction in prescribing drugs for children (not my specialty), and would be putting myself at risk, as well. Can you think of a benign way to say “no way in heck” to my friends and family? It’s reached the point now that my sister and I rarely speak because I won’t appease her. — Dr. No
Dear Dr.: I don’t know if this qualifies as “benign,” but you could say you don’t want to risk having your license revoked. You need to have a discussion with your sister and explain why you cannot write prescriptions for her and her family. I’m pretty sure laypeople do not understand pharmacology, dosages or the variables in different drugs. There are also licensure issues when prescribing drugs for people who are not your patients. For example, in many states physicians are not allowed to prescribe certain classes of drugs for themselves or family members. The bottom line for you is the part of the Hippocratic oath that essentially says: First, do no harm. Tell your sister et al., that you choose not to put them at risk and these are just the rules of your profession. Should they have a medical problem that falls within your specialty, you might then consider prescribing for them. — Margo, prescriptively
Dear Margo is written by Margo Howard, Ann Landers’ daughter. All letters must be sent via e-mail to dearmargo@creators.com. Due to a high volume of e-mail, not all letters will be answered.
