Dear Amy: My sister runs a day care out of her home. She watches my 1-year-old son, another 2-year-old boy and her own boys, ages 7, 4 and 1.
She is going to home-school her 7-year-old starting next year. I applaud her for taking an active role in his education, but she can barely control these children as it is.
My son is a high-strung child. He has anxiety attacks, is very demanding of attention and has a biting problem. The anxiety attacks and attention demands are mostly because he is an only child.
I don’t think my sister can handle watching that many children and teach my nephew at home at the same time.
My husband and I will be looking for another sitter for our son, not only for his sake, but for her and my nephew’s sake as well.
My sister is very sensitive and knows that I don’t think it is a good idea that she continues the day care if she is also going to home- school her son. Do you have any suggestions on how to tell her? — Stranded Sister
Dear Sister: I worry that you think your 1-year-old is having “anxiety attacks” and the like because he is an only child. If his behavior is far outside the norm for a 1-year-old, he should be evaluated by a professional.
Your job is to make sure your son gets the best care possible. You don’t need to mention to your sister that you don’t think she can provide quality child care and home-school her own son. All you need to do is to thank her for watching your son, tell her that you’ve found another sitter and say that you hope your new sitter will do as good a job as she has done.
If you must tell her why you are taking your child elsewhere, you can say that you think he needs more concentrated care and attention.
Leave her son and her choice to home- school him out of your conversation — you should not judge whether she can do a good job educating her own child.
Dear Amy: My wife and I enjoy inviting another couple to our home for dinners, card parties, etc. While we enjoy their company, we can’t help but notice that they don’t wash their hands after using our restroom. Let’s just say it’s obvious in our house — you can hear the toilet flush but never the faucet running.
We find ourselves inviting them less and less, which is awkward. Though we’re not germophobic, my wife has taken to wiping off all the surfaces with alcohol wipes after they visit.
We’ve taken to declining invitations to their home. How do we approach this? — Awkward
Dear Awkward: It seems to me that your guests’ hand-washing practices would affect them more than it would you. You can protect yourself from germs by washing your own hands and following basic hygienic protocols, which you obviously do (and while I’m on the subject, I think that wiping off all surfaces with alcohol wipes does put you in spitting distance of being germophobic.) You could hedge your bets by supplying a pump bottle of antibacterial goo in your loo (and if you’re playing cards, at the card table) and saying to your guests, “Did you try out our new goo? We love it.”
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