April is the cruelest month.
Both property and income taxes come due (ouch!), so it’s the month I am the most broke. There’s no money anywhere.
Apparently, I’m not alone. Every day lately I pick up the paper and find news heavy with financial cave-ins and mortgage disasters. Talk about low consumer confidence. I don’t even want to buy food.
“What’s for dinner, Mom?”
“Beans.”
“We had beans last night.”
“No, we had beans and tortillas. Tonight it’s just beans.”
Alan Greenspan says people aren’t spending. I want to tell him they’re not spending because people like my husband are ordering those who share their bank accounts to “Stop spending!”
My husband, Dan, specifically issued a decorating freeze. “Don’t get one more thing for this house unless it’s free.”
This is hard on people like me who battle remodeling addiction. Still, I obediently put all my credit cards in a Ziploc bag and stuck the baggie in the freezer.
“What’s this,” my daughter asked, moving the bag aside to get to the ice cream.
“My spending freeze.”
A few days later, Dan sees me looking online at settees. “I thought we weren’t spending money on the house.”
“I’m not buying,” I say, “I’m browsing.”
This is a distinction women know but few men get.
“See, there are times in life, like now, when you just look. This prepares you for the times when you power shop,” I explain.
He shakes his head and mutters something about tempting fate.
I know that “just browsing” is most men’s idea of torture. In fact, many men, like Dan, go to great lengths to avoid the mall. Case in point:
“Honey,” I recently said, “I can see your socks through the soles of your shoes.”
“No! Not the mall!” He darted for the duct tape, slathered some on the soles of his shoes, and insisted they’d be good for another 50 miles.
While some might take Dan’s no-decorating edict to literally mean “no decorating,” to me it means “get creative.” Desperation breeds resourcefulness. For instance, I look at that old dresser collecting dust in the garage and think, “Hmm, maybe with a coat of paint and some new knobs . . . ”
And here’s another reason a spending freeze can be a boon to home improvement: Lean times offer good opportunities to plan future improvements, even if they’re months away, and to explore options, compare pricing, bargain hunt, and gather funds by winning the lottery, robbing a bank or selling a kidney. That way, when purse strings do loosen up, we can buy at a good price with certainty and not overpay on an impulse.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). She will be signing her book at 7 p.m. Friday in Colorado Springs at Barnes & Noble, 1565 Briargate Blvd., 719-266-9945. You may contact her through .
When the well runs dry
Besides window shopping and salvaging what you have, here are a few more ways to advance your decorating cause when your budget is zero.
Spring clean. It gets your frustrations out and makes your home look, feel and function better — for nothing.
Build your wish list. Write down what you’d like to buy or do to each room to make it your dream space. Be thorough and idealistic. (You can cut back later.) List items you have, items you need and labor required. Dreaming is free.
Work on your vision bag. I’ve told you about my large leather tote, which holds a design file folder for each room in my house and the yard. Each folder contains inspiring photos that inform the area’s design direction; samples of paints, fabrics, trim, stone, tile, carpet or flooring; sketches for built-ins, photos of fixtures, window treatments and furniture; floor plans with measurements; names of contractors and suppliers; and estimates. On the inside cover, I write or staple a to-do list with budget numbers. This keeps me focused and prevents aimless spending.
Make a budget. Figure out what your wish list will cost, then look for ways to save. Can you do some of the labor yourself or barter for a job? Ask what you must have and make cuts until your dream list matches your budget. Leave an extra 10 percent to 15 percent for surprises, which are inevitable no matter how well you plan.
Set priorities. While you wait for the spending freeze to thaw, decide what’s most important. First should come necessary repairs to ensure your home’s soundness. Second, do improvements that add to your home’s base value. Third, acquire decorative items starting with furnishings for the most public rooms and ending with the most private. Finally, ditch all the aforementioned criteria if you find exactly what you want for a fire-sale price.
You can do all that and not spend a cent, which should hold you at least until May.
