Dear Amy: My husband and I have a well-meaning landlord who frequently comes into our apartment to do little repairs without telling us.
We appreciate that he is so attentive, but it has gotten to the point where we can’t relax because we’re afraid he’ll barge in on us.
He knocks once on the door and, if we don’t come to the door right away, he lets himself in. Several times on Saturdays, we have heard a knock on the door and had to jump out of bed before he could let himself in.
The other day, I didn’t have to go into work and had just gotten out of the shower. He simply let himself into the apartment without even knocking and caught me dressed only in a towel. He was extremely apologetic and embarrassed, but I’m still angry.
I know that he actually owns our apartment, but I really hate that he can just invade our private space. — Sara
Dear Sara: Actually, while you pay rent, you do “own” the apartment. It’s your home. You should check your lease to see if there is language covering your landlord’s access.
For basic maintenance or repairs, a landlord should let you know in advance — not knock and enter. You should ask him to install a sliding bolt lock to the inside of your door, and you should use it when you are home.
Dear Amy: I have a 6-year-old daughter. A friend of mine has three children, ages 17 months, 3 1/2 and 6. Our 6-year-olds are friends.
The problem arises every time the 6-year-olds receive an invitation to a birthday party or other event; the last four times my friend has asked me to drive her 6-year-old. It boils down to the fact that she doesn’t want to have to deal with getting her three children into the car, and her husband won’t help.
Her child is difficult — she doesn’t mind me. I don’t want to be put on the spot, but I don’t have a good reason not to assist.
Am I out of line? — Raising One Only
Dear Raising: Until you’ve walked a mile in another mother’s Huggies, you can’t know what it’s like to transport three young kids.
You are certainly not obligated to help, however. You could split the difference by saying to her, “I can take the kids today if you can manage to pick them up.” That’s saving each of you one trip.
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