Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I were taking care of my 5-year-old niece.
She came to me and told me that my boyfriend said he was going to punch her in the nose. I know that when my boyfriend is playing with the kids he plays around and says things, but he is adamant that he didn’t say that. I spoke with my niece’s parents, and we chalked it up as a misunderstanding.
But now my boyfriend does not want her playing with him, and he refuses to watch her unless someone is with him every minute.
He is in law enforcement and says he sees things like this all the time, situations in which a kid accuses an adult of doing something and the adult gets in trouble. His exact words were, “God forbid she said I touched her.” I don’t know how to get him to understand that she is a 5-year-old kid with a vivid imagination, and I feel this might be the end of our relationship. —Helpless and Clueless
Dear Helpless: Most of what young children say has some basis in reality. The fact that your boyfriend is so punitive and blames a 5-year-old for this incident highlights his own immaturity. I do agree with him that he should not be alone with your niece because he can’t be trusted to treat her well.
Dear Amy: I am a junior in high school. In December, my girlfriend of 19 months and I broke up. I broke it off because I didn’t believe I was giving her the time she deserved. I did so without talking to her to see if it was what she wanted. She was devastated.
After a few months, she found a guy and I was devastated. I became depressed and cried myself to sleep. After about six weeks, she broke up with him.
Now I feel I should tell her that I still care for her, and that if she would have me, I would like to give it another chance. But I don’t know how to say it.
I care for her so much. We weren’t sexual, but I miss the smell of her hair and the way her fingers interlocked with mine when we held hands. I am willing to give up my extracurricular activities to make her happy.
What can I do to let her know how I feel? — Confused in Iowa
Dear Confused: You should start by wrapping your comments within a long-overdue apology. The nice thing about apologizing to people is that it often puts them in the mood to talk. Don’t offer up a global statement of love, and please don’t say that you’ll give up the things that make you happy. But do say that you miss the smell of her hair and tell her that you miss holding hands, because there is every chance that she feels the same way.
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