If one more person tells me how to run my life, I might become very rude.
As you know, I strive (not always successfully) to have a lovely home. But what’s the point when my to-do list is so overwhelming I can’t relax and enjoy being at home?
For instance, I just got back from a visit with my doctor. She advised me to stretch 15 minutes morning and night to relieve neck tension.
Last week at a school parents meeting, I learned I should spend 15 minutes each day checking in with each child. Times two kids, that’s 30 minutes.
After I paid more than my car payment to have two dogs’ teeth cleaned, my vet said I need to brush their teeth every day. Toothbrushing plus feeding and scoop duty equals 15 minutes of daily dog care.
At church, the minister urged the congregation to spend 15 minutes each morning in concerted prayer and spiritual reflection. Is this before or after I stretch and scoop?
I haven’t even gotten to home maintenance. Besides keeping the house clean, clutter-free, nicely appointed and company-ready, I’m supposed to tend the garden, stock groceries, and stay on top of laundry, bills, the family photo album and birthday gifts.
An article I recently read says I should clean one drawer or cupboard a day to stay a step ahead of chaos. Once a week, I’m also supposed to put algae-busting chemicals in the water feature, empty the ice in the automatic ice maker to keep ice fresh, keep the bird feeder full and the lint trap empty, change the vacuum bag, and manage the recycling.
And each day I’m supposed to get 30 minutes of aerobic exercise, drink eight glasses of water, shuttle kids to sports practice, oversee homework, cook nutritious family meals, plus read the newspaper and a couple of magazines, which invariably tell me how to have (pick one) firmer thighs, a flatter tummy or trimmer hips in, you guessed it, 15 minutes a day!
Excuse me, but has anyone done the math?
Assuming we start with the same 24-hour day (and I swear some people get more), sleep eight hours and work eight hours, that leaves eight hours that everyone thinks you desperately need filled.
If I did what everyone told me to do for 15 minutes a day, I’d have about an hour and a half to floss, apply sunscreen, take vitamins, moisturize, combat unwanted body hair and wrinkles, and spend quality time with my spouse. Add to that any time spent volunteering at the local hospital, school, or cause of your choice and, my friend, we’re into tomorrow.
If you know where I can borrow that kind of time, I’d like the name of your lender.
No wonder my neck feels stiff.
Syndicated columnist Marni Jameson is the author of “The House Always Wins” (Da Capo). Send her your home improvement horror story for a chance to win a copy of the book. Details at .
Stress buster
So here’s what I want to know: If we succeed in making our homes into havens — places to recharge — how can we find time to enjoy them? I put the question to Laura Stack, author of the new book “Exhaustion Cure” (Broadway Books), as well as “Find More Time.” The author is also a mother of three. Here’s her advice:
Lower your standards. Not everything needs to be done your way. If you don’t like the way your kids or spouse fold laundry, zip your lip, or people will happily let you do the task yourself.
Accept help. When you’ve invited people over and they ask, “What can we bring?” Don’t say, “Nothing.” Say, “Do you have some specialty you’d like to share?” Likewise, don’t be a martyr when people offer to help clean up. People like to help, and you get to visit while you work.
Let cooking do double duty. If it’s no more trouble to double the lasagna recipe when making dinner, make two batches and freeze one. Do the same for other entrees or cookie recipes.
Get a headset. Talking on the phone can be a huge time burn. Get a telephone headset and catch up on conversations while doing mindless tasks like watering the plants or folding laundry.
Wash fewer clothes more often. To reduce laundry volume, tell your family that wearing something once doesn’t make it dirty. Likewise, unless someone’s been sick or is having hot flashes, sheets can go two weeks between washings, and towels a few days. Next, do what your mom did — a load a day. That beats seven on Sunday.
Put it on the list. I waste time ricocheting to and from the store for two or three items, because I don’t plan. Laura Stack sticks a grocery list in the kitchen. Whoever uses the last of something writes it down. This is the mantra around her house: “If it’s not on the list, it won’t exist.”
Practice simplicity. Look hard at your stuff, and get rid of what used to be you but isn’t anymore. If it’s irrelevant to your life today, think of it as a weight and lose it. The more streamlined your home is, the less congested your life feels.
Hoard your spare time. As for those who think they can come up with better ways to spend my time than I can, which is like saying the government can spend my money better than I can, stop! What I really want is 15 minutes of peace.
