Dear Abby: My mother is very strict about the use of obscenities, so I don’t use them at home.
However, cuss words are part of my close friend “Mallory’s” normal speech. At Mallory’s house, swear words are normal among her parents and siblings.
Recently, Mallory spent the night here, and my mother heard her cuss. My younger sister was in the room. After Mallory left, my mother said she will not tolerate such “filth” and said Mallory is no longer welcome in our home.
Mallory is a loyal, caring friend. Her behavior is the result of her upbringing. I would ask her not to talk this way in our home, but I think she might slip up and sometimes forget. Have you any suggestions? — Tarzana teen
Dear Tarzana Teen: While I understand your mother’s point, if she thinks banishing Mallory will prevent foul language from reaching your sister’s ears, she doesn’t know what kids are saying in the halls of many schools today.
If you haven’t already done so, level with Mallory. Tell her how offended your mother was at the language she used. It’s important for your friend to know that while profanity may be acceptable in her home, there are places where it is deeply offensive. Then ask Mallory to call your mother and apologize. If she does, your mother may relent.
Dear Abby: A friend and I went to dinner at a local restaurant last night with our three young children. The oldest is 8; the other two are babies. We were seated next to a boisterous group of young women. As if their noise level wasn’t enough, they proceeded to discuss certain bodily functions that are not appropriate for a public place.
Needless to say, the impressionable 8-year-old got an earful and began asking questions. I had no idea how to answer him or to get the women to lower the noise level. How should I have handled the situation? — Offended in the Desert
Dear Offended: You should get up, ask the host or hostess to seat you as far from the “distraction” as possible, and explain why. That way no more parties that include children will be seated next to them.
Write Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
