While my hero gently weeps . . .
“When will a retiring athlete complete his farewell media conference without breaking down like a little baby and bawling all over himself? I give you Rod Smith, Brett Favre and John Elway, to name a few. Are these alleged tough guys just fragile boys who never grew up and can’t communicate without their feelings overcoming them? I long for the old days when football players weren’t supposed to cry. Can you imagine Ray Nitschke slobbering all over himself with tears?”
Jerry, Wheat Ridge
Kiz: Retire from the NFL, and a star must learn to live without the easy money, chartered flights and locker room attendants who pick up dirty underwear. You’d cry, too, if it happened to you.
Anointing the annoying.
“Kiz, first off I must say that I am not a fan of yours. Truth be told, I find your writing annoying at best, and sometimes wish I could slap you! But after reading your column on Smith’s contributions to the Broncos, I must say every word was right on point. On the field, he worked harder than anyone. Off the field, he worked harder. Yep, his one thing was never to be poor again. That man is such an amazing force. He is a mentor to children and some of us adults who have been fortunate enough to be part of his life. Thank you, Rod, for all you have done for us and the community.”
Bella, Denver
Kiz: After reading your letter, let my wife and children be the first to say: Your every word is right on point, Bella. At best, I am annoying.
Working class act.
“Smith, who at one time had to reach up to touch bottom, gave his fullest to the Broncos. It’s too bad cloning is more idea than reality when it comes to work ethic and commitment to team. There are too many pro athletes, when told ‘There is no ‘I’ in team’ respond by saying, ‘Yes, but there is an ‘M’ and ‘E.’ ‘ Smith would never author that ego drill. His heart is bigger than his ego. Brandon Marshall, are you listening?”
Mark, Lewisville, Texas
Kiz: Volunteering to mentor Marshall should not only earn Smith a free pass to heaven, it automatically qualifies the retired Broncos star for a visit from Mike Rowe to star in a segment of “Dirty Jobs.”
Here’s the pitch . . .
“It’s time for Rockies owners Dick and Charlie Monfort to run the organization correctly. They caught lightning in a bottle last season. For it to strike twice, the Rockies need to trade a prospect or two for a veteran pitching presence on the staff. It’s time for the Rockies to recognize this is a baseball town and be held accountable. Get the pitching needed, and there really could be a run at .500 to somehow win this lame division this year.”
Karl, Thornton
Kiz: In 2006, the Rockies looked for pitching in the draft and decided to select Greg Reynolds, after being high on some kid named Tim Lincecum. Oops.
In a New York minute.
“There’s one glimmer of hope for Matt Holliday staying with the Rockies. He loves his teammates. The other item for Holliday to consider: He could own this town the way John Elway did. His country-boy personality fits in well with the Rockies, way better than it would in New York.”
Tim, Cañon City
Kiz: Sorry, I’m not buying the idea Holliday would be doomed to misery playing for the bright-lights, big-city Yankees. For $25 million a year, the slugger could afford to buy a mansion out in the country, maybe down a leafy lane from David Letterman. Holliday would still have enough money left over to hire Martha Stewart as his interior decorator.
Parting shot
And today’s parting shot is aimed at lovelorn, gun-shy Rockies management, with advice in the grand tradition of “Dear Abby.”
“The Rockies disqualify themselves from ever acquiring a big-name pitcher because of the Denny Neagle and Mike Hampton signings? My girlfriend cheated on me in high school. I guess I can never love again?”
Teo, Fort Carson
